LET'S CHAT

HOW TO HELP THOSE SUFFERING A LOSS

2012-01-30T10:38:00.000-08:00

I received this via email a couple of years ago. Whoever wrote it certainly helped a lot of people, because knowing how to comfort people who are experiencing loss, is a wonderful thing. We always want to help but are sometimes unsure of what to do or say. After reading this, we'll know.

Wise sayings often fail on barren ground; but a kind word is never thrown away.
   - Arthur Helps

Sensitivity to others often comes at considerable expense. Ask those who have lost a loved one or some aspect of their life if they are now wiser regarding what helps and what hurts the grieving heart. They will know:They will explain that God's love reaches out most tangibly through people who understand that:
*they are not required to fix the hurt.
*curiosity is not the same as caring.
*a gentle touch can mean more than a great truth.
*God understands our questions and even our anger.
* a listening ear brings more comfort than the wisest mouth.
* people don't hurt less just because you tell them someone else hurts more.
*similar experiences give empathy but we can't know exactly how another person feels.
*people who add practical help to their prayers are an answer to prayer.
*words of love are words of encouragement.
*small acts of kindness are not small.
*all of the Scripture we know may not need to be quoted right now.
*losing one's balance is not the same as losing one's testimony.
*it takes time to live our questions all the way through to God's prayers.
*time alone has no power to heal- God alone does.

I wish I knew who wrote the above. I would like to let the author know how much his words helped me. I've suffered loss several times. It never gets easier, but this author's willingness to share his knowledge is a blessing.

We do learn from our trials. We could not show compassion except we first experienced deep pain. Kindness, humility, gentleness and patience are things we come to possess after walking through fiery trials. We discover, through our own hurting, how to reach out and comfort another hurting person.

I want to thank those of you who have reached out to me (you know who you are). Your comments and messages have shown me that I'm appreciated, and loved; that you are there for me when life throws me a curve ball. Please know I'm there for you as well.

Stay well, be happy, and remember that every day is a gift of life from the Giver of life. Let's not take Him for granted.

IMAGINATION (REPOSTING FOR A FRIEND)

2012-01-27T17:13:00.000-08:00

Can you imagine yourself in a hammock, eyes closed, the breath of the morning breeze kissing your skin, its touch soft as a butterfly? I can, and often do. Imagination is a wonderful thing. It can take us anywhere we wish to go, whether that be Paris, Jerusalem, Greece, Mexico, or New York.
    Some people have told me (when I was younger), that I needed to grow up and act my age; needed to put away childish things and stop daydreaming so much. It made me very sad, made me feel as if they were asking me to stop being myself, and in a way they were.
   Children's imaginations help them cope with difficult things. It helps them stretch their comfort zone, allows them to be themselves, to have fun and be creative. My imagination helped me endure painful and humiliating experiences. Whenever I was hurting, I'd imagine how it would be later on, when things were better, calmer- when the adults finally managed to settle their differences. Imagination got me through the roughest part of my life.

I didn't spend much time with my father growing up, so treasured the times I had him to myself. One day he took me with him (I can't recall where we were going, but do remember our conversation). We'd just driven under a bridge and I said. " "Dad, how many boxes of oleo could you stack from the ground to the top of that bridge?"
   "Not sure. Quite a lot, I imagine."
   "One hundred?"
   "Maybe."
"More?"
"Don't know."
   "Less than a hundred?"
   "Not sure."
   "Well guess."
        He changed the subject. I asked next, how far away the stars were, what made them so bright, asked how the man who made our car knew how to make it. I asked him where rubber came from, and how come we have to call a chair a chair. I asked who invented paint, and how come the water we drink is a different color than ocean water.
   After a short while he began to get very frustrated. He didn't get mad, just sighed and asked, "Doesn't your mind ever shut down?"
   I guess it doesn't - hasn't - and I'm an adult now. A car passes our house and I wonder where the people inside it are going. I wonder if they are happy or sad, if they believe in God, or don't, if they still know how to have fun. I wonder how they view the world, wonder if they can still see it through the eyes of a child
    I go shopping, and notice every thing and everybody. I wonder if the lady in front of me realizes what a good example she is setting for her little girl, by being so patient to the rude checker.
   I go to the park and see a couple sitting quietly on a bench nearby; notice the way the lady is sitting, head down, kind of hugging herself while gently rocking back and forth. I notice the way the man is patting her shoulder, but not looking at her. He is staring into the distance, a sad look upon his face. I find myself imagining the worst of things going on in their lives, find myself grateful, though I'm not sure why, that it isn't me on that bench.

   Imagination is a wonderful thing. Sometimes it even helps us find solutions to problems, helps us come up with a new and different approach, one that just may work this time.

Keep on dreaming. Don't ever give up your dream. Some of the most beautiful, wonderful, delightful things in the world began with that first step. We don't enter the world knowing all things, but are capable of learning many new things.

Well, sunshine found my hiding place this morning; no wind, no snow, no rain today. I hope, wherever you are, you woke to something that lifted your spirits too; if not the sun, than perhaps knowing how loved you are, that your daily needs will be met, that you have a best friend, PLUS a brand new day offering you a DO OVER. Gotta love that!

Life is short so create a beautiful memory today.

love you much,

Barb

CHRISTMAS EVE

2011-12-24T20:46:00.000-08:00

It's the night before Christmas, and I find myself thinking about the men and women in the armed forces, knowing their Christmas won't be like mine. Even as I enjoy our beautifully decorated tree, the quiet of the night, the joy of knowing my husband is still with me, and that tomorrow, our son and grandchild will spend Christmas day with us, it's hard not to cry. Sometimes I do. How could I not?
     Our troops, so far away from home, have no pillow beneath their heads, no warm shower, nobody to hug and kiss them or comfort them when they are weary and lonely, fearful and worried. They don't have a warm breakfast to start their day, don't get to enjoy something so simple as a cup of coffee, and have nothing much to look forward too, except more of what they just experienced the day before.
    These brave men and women are where they are because they love their country and want to keep it safe- want to keep all of us safe. I think sometimes we forget that the freedom we have came with a price, a very HIGH price.
   We need to stop taking what we have for granted; need to truly appreciate all that we have. We are so blessed, so rich, yet in the ways that count- sometimes very poor.
   Please, as you celebrate Christmas, do it with our troops in mind. And then, as the New Year begins, consider making a commitment to pray for our troops every day; and not pray only, but do something for them.

Type Support Our Troops in your toolbar and a page will come up giving you all kinds of ways to help.

I'd like to wish every one of you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year too.
Remember that the new year gives us another opportunity not only do better, but to be better too. I love do-overs. Don't you?

A SIMPLE GIFT

2011-12-13T18:20:00.000-08:00

I'd been sitting at the computer for several hours, updating journals and answering mail, when I got an email from a friend. She asked me to pray for a little boy who has cancer." He's just five years old." she wrote," and his Grandmother is very worried about him."
    I wrote her back, asking her to send me the Grandmother's email address. As soon as I received it, I wrote the grandmother, asking her to tell me about her grandson. The letter she wrote me was long, and quite sad. Her love for her grandson was so great, that the very thought of losing him was making her ill. "I can't sleep," she wrote, "and can't keep food down much either. I cry all the time. My precious Marco (her grandson) is my heart. He has been in and out of the hospital, Barb, since he was three and a half. The cancer went away, but came back again, six months ago. The chemo is not helping much. He is wasting away, is but skin and bones. "
    I asked about Marco's parents. She wrote "His father cries almost as much as I do. His mother is like a zombie, just walks around the house, doing things that need to be done, then sits down and stares into space.
   And Marco's little brother, who is three, keeps begging to see Marco. But Marco won't see him. He gets hysterical if asked to see his brother. He says "I'm ugly now, with no hair. I don't want my brother to see me." so the parents don't make him. They try to keep him calm as they can.
Barb, this is so hard. What will I do if my sweet Marco dies? I don't know what to do to help him. He looks like a little old man; never smiles any more, doesn't talk much, just gets more depressed."
    Sleep became rather elusive, once I began writing Marco's grandmother. I kept thinking of this small child, so loved, who was dying a little every day. I prayed about it; asked God to bless Marco and his family, and to help me find a way to lift their spirits. He did.
    I bought two big bottles of Bubbles, 1 smaller bottle of Bubbles, and six fancy Bubble wands. I also purchased a miniature Bambi (stuffed animal).
   Angels must have delivered Marco's present, because it seemed I barely sent it, when I got a thank you letter from his Grandmother.
   She said, "Dear Barb. I can't thank you enough. I wish you could have been here when my sweet Marco opened the gift you sent. He is very weak, and the medicine he's taking makes him very sleepy at times too, so when he got the present unwrapped, it took him a few minutes to realize what he was looking at. He was too weak to open the bottle of bubbles, so I did. I dipped a wand into the bottle, then waved it back and forth. Bubbles were everywhere, BIG ones as well as little ones. Marco's smile, Barb, lit up the room. He said,"Let me try, Grandma." I held the bottle, while he dipped the wand. When he waved it back and forth and saw the bubbles, he laughed, Barb...for the first time in many months. And not only that, he said, "Go get Anthony (his little brother)
so he can blow bubbles too. And the sweet Bambi, Barb, he plays with it all day, and at night, when he goes to sleep, he places Bambi on his pillow. "

A small gift, bubbles, but what huge blessings came out of that gift.
Marco's grandmother tells me that Marco never runs out of Bubbles. It has become his favorite thing. This happened three years ago. Marco is now eight, has thick, curly hair and runs and plays like any other eight-year old boy.
    And Bubbles? I keep many bottles on hand. I take some with me and hand them out to kids, to people sitting alone on a bench, to family members, to neighbors, to anybody who crosses my path. Sometimes I sit on our patio, and blow bubbles. Try it, silly as it sounds. You just might be surprised. The simplest of things often are the easiest and cheapest way, to help another smile again.

First Impressions

2011-12-06T11:14:00.000-08:00

People matter to me so I go out of my way to understand them; to learn what makes them happy, angry, sad, disappointed, hopeful, depressed, or fearful. I try to learn what makes them feel good about themselves, hate themselves, get to the point that they want to give up. I like to know why some people are so successful, while others struggle just to make ends meet; like to know why some individuals have dreams and set goals, while others set no goals, don't even have a dream.

What I know about people, including myself, is that their inside seldom matches their outside. It is wise to look behind angry words. An angry person is usually a hurting person. A smile doesn't always mean a person is happy, tears don't always mean a person is sad.
     People who don't cry are sometimes seen as too emotional. But quite often it's simply their way of keeping strong. It happens sometimes, that if you've cried openly, shared that deep sorrow, and got put down for it, were criticized and ridiculed, you no longer cry; or if you do, it is when you are alone. As well, many hurting people are afraid to let themselves cry; believing that once they start they might not be able to stop.

We all influence somebody at some point in our lives, but may not realize it. And, on the other side of the coin- we are influenced by another person's confidence, their strong faith, their talent, perhaps just their ability to express themselves. We're influenced by those who climbed to the top, when others failed to believe they'd be able too.
   |
People wear masks; pretending to be happy, when they aren't, pretending to be alright, when inside, they are falling apart. They pretend to be satisfied with their looks, but in reality hate themselves, always wishing they were different.

People pretend to be strong because others tell keep telling them how strong they are. It never occurred to them to just be honest and say."Look, I"m not feeling strong today." They may be feeling afraid, insecure, lost and misplaced, or worse, losing the desire to live. Many people would find it difficult to say, "Could you stay with me for a little while, or call me? I'm really struggling today, could use some help."

People have become cautious, find it difficult to trust any more. Our world has become a dangerous place, is filled with violence, and threats of violence. People, being fearful, withdraw, too many, making a fortress out of their home. They are too fearful to venture out. Their comfort zones have shrunk. Where once it covered a huge amount of space- it now covers home, to the store, to a relatives house, a doctor maybe, and to church. Some people are afraid to even enjoy their front yards. It is wise to be cautious, but a mistake, I believe, to let those who are evil have such control over lives. Bad things happen to good people too.

Shared this because it is the holiday season; a time for sharing our love, our friendship, as well as food, and perhaps shelter for somebody. So many people, even in our own neighborhoods, could use some support, an invitation to a meal, a home visit, an unexpected email, a letter of encouragement. We all have something to share. I hope this day finds each of you doing well, in reasonably good health, in touch with family and friends, and remembering how unique- how special you are.

Have an awesome day. And don't forget that life is short, so create a beautiful memory.

Gratitude

2011-11-27T13:59:00.000-08:00

This morning, Lord, I need to thank you, rather than feel sorry for myself.
I want to thank you for today's breath of life, want to thank you for helping me make it through each day. It is so hard sometimes, to remain strong, to keep a smile on my face when my heart is breaking. I would not be able to do it were it not for You.
     Many has been the time, that my heart lay like a leaf upon the ground, a lifeless thing. But then you came, and blessed me with the honor of your presence, and allowed me to experience the warmth and tightness of your embrace. So now, no matter the trial, or how intense the pain, joy fills my heart. Whenever I feel trapped or overwhelmed, I have but to stretch my hands heavenward, and you take hold of them. You hold them tightly, and fill me with confidence, courage and renewed hope.

Bless my friends and family today, Lord.
Bless those who are today hurting so much; those who are fearful, sick, fighting addictions, struggling to keep their marriages together.
Bless, Lord, those in the armed forces, those confined to their beds,
the friendless, and those in prison.
Bless the children who are being abused,
the single mothers and fathers,
those who have no home,
those who are suffering because of natural disasters,
those who are elderly, and are afraid,
those who love you, and those who don't.
Bless the leaders of our country, and those who are giving of
themselves in order to bless others.
Bless the caretakers, Lord, and those who are lost, desperately trying to find something, or somebody to believe in.

And forgive us, Gracious Father, as a nation, for shutting you out, for failing to give thanks for all you have done for us. Forgive us for failing to rightly
represent you.

Forgive me, for allowing somebody else to be first in my heart, for too long. Forgive me for forgetting all you have taught me; how patient you have been, how kind, how merciful.
Forgive me for being slow to forgive, rather than quick; for being too quick to judge, for failing to always be honest about my own flaws of character.

I love you so much, far more than I could ever tell you. But you know. And knowing you do, makes me happy. Thank you for listening to my prayer and for answering it. I know you will, because you are faithful. I do ask these things in Jesus name. Amen.

Good Morning Guys & Dolls

2011-11-25T11:56:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning counting my blessings, which are many. The one thing I am most thankful for, at the moment, is that I have not forgotten to look for the blessings during my darkest, most painful moments. They are always there. But sometimes, when we are discouraged, weary, in a lot of pain or overwhelmed, we lose our bearings. It's hard to stay focused when we've lost a lot of sleep, hurt, or have more than one thing at a time to deal with.

What has helped me most, is remembering to start my morning with the Lord. I thank Him for the day's gift of life, then thank Him for being willing to listen to me, and give me answers. He always does.
       A dear friend asked me, not long ago, why I thought she had such a hard time with her faith."It's up, then down." she told me. "And you know I love the Lord and DO believe in Him."
     I thought about her question for awhile, then told her I felt that she was forgetting something. What she was forgetting is that she is no different than the precious people in the Bible. Every one of them, I told her, struggled with their faith at times. We are all strong, I said, but not always. We have faith, but at times it might waver. The fact that it does, doesn't mean we no longer have faith. It just means that perhaps we've not kept it as active as we should have. Faith, when not put to use, is nothing but a five letter word. We've all been given a measure of faith. How large and strong a faith we have, will depend upon how active we keep it.

     If your day is going badly, if you are afraid, feeling insecure, worried about loved ones, are sick, lost, or wondering what to do about your situation, know you are in my prayers, every morning, every night.
     Sometimes it seems, I know, as if nothing will ever get better. It seems like the harder you try, the worse things get. I know that feeling, have felt it many times. And it is painful. But when things are difficult, we have to keep on keeping on, always reminding ourselves that it won't always rain, that even if we cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel, it IS there, and one day we WILL be able to see it.

     We have to reach out to others, even if we may be shy about it, have never done it before. Trust me, there are people who would reach out to you, if only they were made aware of your need.
     I want to take a minute here, to thank those of you who have taken time for me. You've taken time to comment on what I write, even though it may not be something you're particularly interested in. You've taken time to email me, just to say hello, and ask how I am doing. You've gone out of your way to make me know that I matter. For that I am, and will ever be, eternally grateful.

As I always say, and have become even more aware of how true it is, since my husband is on hospice, life is but a wisp of smoke- here, then gone. I encourage you to create a special memory today.

IF FOR A MOMENT

2011-11-24T19:17:00.000-08:00

If I for a moment, could do what I would,
You'd know the freedom of flying.
So high above the world you would be,
Beyond the touch of human hands
And the disillusionment from reality,
That finds us all from time-to-time.

It would not be a withdrawal from life, but rather
An extension of its depths.
Only you, and I, and God, would understand.
Only you, and I, and God, would be content
With the gentle strength that lies beneath-
Only you, only me, only God.

So many gifts you've given willingly, and lovingly
To this family of three; So many repairs of the hearts
You've done- seeking nothing- accepting nothing.

Someday, when the world least expects it,
I will become successful. My words will move the
Hearts and minds of men - by God's grace.
When my day arrives--and it surely will,
You and I will stand in awe
Of what has been accomplished.
I could not rightfully claim full credit, for besides
God's mighty blessings and kindness shown,
You have forever remained supportive of all
I am now, and all I will one day become.

You shall have freedom one day,
From all the chains that bind you
Against your will,
Against your spirit,
Against what God would have you see,
Be, and possess.
I don't see you as earthbound
For you are a mighty warrior,
Possessing great endurance.
Hold on awhile longer.

Continue to believe in me
And in my dreams,
And then my success
Will become our success.
All that is mine will be yours
For the asking, because
You loved me, forgave me,
And accepted me for what I am.

Because you saw what I couldn't,
And were my eyes;
Felt what my heart could not feel
Because you were my heart,
Because you love those I love,
As they love you, and mostly
Because you deserve far more
Than life has given you.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

2011-11-24T11:07:00.000-08:00

The fact that my Johnny is on hospice drastically changes the way we will do things this Thanksgiving. I miss being able to do things the way we once did, but am thankful, so very thankful, that my sweet husband, and best friend, is still with us.

I am thankful for today's breath of life, for the love and support of family and friends; for the food on our table, the roof over our heads, the heater that keeps us warm on cold days.

I am thankful for God's night-lights, that let me know He is always home, should I need Him; thankful too, that I have time alone, so that I can meditate, and better hear that which God may wish to teach me.

I am grateful to our troops, who sacrifice so much to keep us safe. Let us not forget to include them as we say grace. Let us not forget all that they do without, mostly their own families. They must get so lonely at times. Let us pray that soon, all of them will be home.

My wish for each of you is that the memories of this Thanksgiving, will be one that stands out among the rest.

Again, Happy Thanksgiving,
Love you much,

Barb

LOOKING FOWARD

2011-11-23T11:11:00.000-08:00

Isn't it odd, the wonder of trials? Expressed this way it does not seem to make sense, but to me it does. My worst, most painful trials revealed to me that I am much stronger than I believed myself to be. These particular trials helped me learn patience, strengthened my faith, renewed my courage, and drew me even closer to the Lord.
     I was thinking, only yesterday, of how wondrous a thing faith is; that if kept in steady motion, every day, how much more content a man could be.We think, during the darkest moments of our lives, that nothing will ever be the same again; that nobody seems to care; that even if we get through this trial, another one will take its place.We think these things because that's what we tell ourselves, and what we tell ourselves, we believe.
     My husband being on hospice, is probably one of the most difficult things I've had to endure. It has turned our world upside down, blown such a hole in our comfort zone that for a while, we were scrambling for something to hold onto. We felt like leaves in a storm. It was horrible. Still is! The difference I think, is ACCEPTANCE.
When my Johnny first told me "The doctor says he's done all he can do honey. Hospice is next." I instantly went into denial. This couldn't be happening. Not to my Johnny, the love of my life- my best friend. I resisted it, unfortunately, for a week or so. And my resisting made it worse. I didn't get back on track until I went to the Lord for help. He gave me Bible verses that I've been leaning on ever since. These verses have removed every WHY question I've ever had- or that comes up.

What are the Bible verses? Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8

(1) To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the
         heaven:
(2) A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up
       that which is planted;
(3) A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build
       up;
(4) A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
(5) A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to
        embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
(6) A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
(7) A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to
       speak;
(8) A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
These Bible verses lightened my burden by explaining WHY the painful, sad, depressing, horrific things happen in life. They happen for a reason. They reminded me of something I'd forgotten; that life runs on opposites: A baby is born- a baby dies; a man gets a job- a man loses a job; a couple gets married- a couple divorces; a family buys a home- a family loses their home.
   Understanding how things work simplified my life.

Romans 8:28 says

" And we know that all things work together for good....."

Many of us know the above verse, but when a really heavy, painful, trial comes, we lose our footing. We're so focused on the pain, the sadness, the enormity of our situation, that we totally forget the one word in Romans 8:28, that makes the difference. The heart of the verse is the word ALL.
    This means, using myself for example, that even though I am overwhelmed at the trial I'm facing, feel intimidated by it, feel fearful at times, and uncertain, I can remind myself, during my devotions, or when hurting the most, that ALL things are working in my behalf; not just part. I don't have to understand it. I just have to believe what the scriptures say. God has more than proven himself to us. We have no reason to doubt, no matter what happens.
     I wish to testify of God's greatness; of His mercy,His compassion and understanding. I wish to share my love for Him, my appreciation for the greatness of His heart, for His continued giving of HIS strength, so that I am able to bear all things.
    May all who read this post experience the warmth and depth of His love, the honor of His presence, and the tightness of His embrace.

2011-10-22T20:41:00.001-07:00

MIND TALK

2011-08-25T10:02:00.000-07:00

Mind talk: The silent coversations we continually have with ourselves.

Our coversations may be silent but our minds, working like a computer, keep track of every word, sentence, comma, dot, and paragraph. Why is this the subject of my post? It's because I've come to realize what a huge impact these conversations have on us.They determine, to a large degree, what kind of a day we'll have; whether we'll be happy or depressed, hopeful or fearful. They determine how we feel about ourselves too, and are often, if not always, the reason our lives become tangled balls of string.

What are your silent conversations like? Do you tell yourself things like:
"I can never stop smoking." "I'll never get over this loss." I'll never be able to forgive

myself." "I'll never lose this weight." "Nothing will ever change. I'll be poor forever."
OR...how about these:
"I can't ever do anything right." "I'll never amount to anything."
"My husband/wife is going to leave me. I just know it."
"I'll die alone." "Nobody really cares what happens to me"
"What if we lose everything?" "What if God won't forgive me?"
"What if I get cancer?" "What if I really can't change?"

It took me a long time to recognize how destructive these silent conversations can be, especially, if what we're telling ourselves is a distortion of logic. Read the words above, then slowly, say them out loud. It's easy to see, isn't it, how repeatedly saying things like this to ourselves, can drastically change the quality of our lives?

A friend, having discussed this with me, not long ago, asked me how one goes about stopping these conversations. I told her we're always talking to ourselves in this manner, so I don't know that it is something we could stop, really. But now that I think about it, I probably should have told her that we can't stop the conversations, but can change the thoughts we put into our head, those negative, destructive thoughts that keep us from having inner peace, keep us from feeling good about our lives, our relationships, ourselves.

The saying "There is power in knowledge." is really true. When I was able to understand  (and remember), that we believe what we tell ourselves and become what we believe ourselves to be, I was able to change those mental conversations, which was really an awesome thing. It took a little practice, but was well worth the effort. It changed my life.

It takes but a few minutes to think about what we're telling ourselves, only a few minutes to ask "Is what I'm saying to myself a true statement, or a distortion of that truth?"
For instance, I used to tell myself "Nothing is ever going to be better. My life is always going to be what it is now." WOW! It doesn't take a rocket scientist to blow a hole into that one, does it. The truth is,  I was lying to myself. A man's life will be as good, or as bad, as the choices he makes. It took me awhile to figure that one out.

Well, I guess I lived up to my nickname (WIndy), this morning, didn't I? I'd apologize, guys & dolls, but I kind of think you'll let me pass on this one.

Hope your corner of the world is as beautiful and serene as mine is, at least for now. We had a storm pass through last night, just caught the edge of it. There was a lot of really loud thunder and an awesome lightning display. Summer storms kind of wash away the grit in the world, washes it off of trees, grass, mountains and anything else the rain touches. Sure does leave the world smelling good- and looking brand new.
   Our summer has been rather mild so we're all thinking we're going to have a bad winter. Hope not! Last year our power went out and it was COLD! My husband and I wound up driving to Medford, to my sister's house- stayed with her till the power came back on.

LAST WORDS

Nothing is forever except God, so don't waste the moments given, that daily gift of breath. We take our lives for granted, too often forgetting that it is but a wisp of smoke, here-then gone.

Create beautiful memories today. Take a few minutes to really look at your loved ones, really listen to the sound of their voice, their laughter. Hold them a few seconds longer when you hug them ,and never forget to say "I love you."

THANKS FOR VISITING

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY J-LAND

2011-08-21T11:20:00.000-07:00

Memories...so many of them. When Guido suggested us doing this the first thought that crossed my mind was "Oh, I wish I hadn't lost my "Hey Let's Talk." blog, but I did, so can't post anything from there. But that's okay. What matters to me is that the people who entered my life so many years ago are still walking across the corridors of my mind, still making me smile, still encouraging me, still making me feel special and loved, still reminding me how very rich I am for having such awesome friends.
You all know how windy I am. Heck, I'm the one who gave myself that nickname.lol
It would be so easy to post a long entry right now but things are a bit tough in my life at the moment. My sweet Johnny's health is going downhill rapidly. All the doctors can do now is make him as comfortable as possible. This is a good example of what I meant about friends. Some of you are following my "My Johnny" blog. Those who aren't have been keeping in touch, lifting my spirits. I want to thank you for staying in touch. As Rose said, who would have guessed that starting a blog would have created such a special family, and that's what each of you are to me.
Have an awesome day. Remember that life is short so create a beautiful memory.
Thanks, Guido. Love you.

2011-08-08T22:51:00.000-07:00

This is a requested former post from 2009

(people whose belief in me enabled me to believe in myself).
     I shared Gingerbread and hot chocolate with my Mother, my heart filling with admiration as she shared her life experiences, speaking softly, as always she did, about how love can go wrong, how important it is to remember that people are more important than things, and that doing our best is always good enough. Our last conversation left me with words that literally changed my life.
     "If you can be honest with yourself," she said, "about yourself, you'll find the quality of your relationships will improve. Why? Because when you look at another mans faults you're now able to see your own."
   She has been gone for many years now, but sometimes, like today, it's as though she never left.

The second person I visited on my walk was my father. As in all families, and within each relationship, not all is perfect. It was so with us. But I've never focused on the hurting memories. Better it is, I discovered long ago, to focus upon the good in life, as well as in people. This being so, I revisited Sequoia National Park; ate cold watermelon as I observed my father, who stood leaning against a Redwood tree, gazing upwards while sipping a beer, looking happier than I'd ever seen him.
   "Nothing could be better than this," he said, smiling at me.
   I've never forgotten that moment or the sights, sounds and smells of it. My father taught me many things (though not by example). The most important?
1- Never take life or people for granted.
2- Learn to control your emotions - don't allow them to control you.
3- Everybody deserves a second chance.

Next to visit was Tommy, the first love of my life . I rode his maroon bicycle again, danced with him, went horseback riding, and felt his strength when he held me for the last time. "It's okay, Princess." he whispered, while brushing away my tears. "Don't worry. I'll be back.   He didn't come back, but what I learned from him kept me strong, has helped me through many a storm. He was unique, had the heart of a poet, was so tall in my eyes. He taught me, by example, the true meaning of loyalty, friendship and integrity; taught me that I'm stronger than I believe myself to be, and able to do whatever I set my mind too.
    I chatted with Pastor Joe, who introduced me to Jesus Christ, enabled me to experience somebody actually living what God says love is.
    I spoke with former friends, spent an hour sitting on an old tire swing, then revisited the treehouse Tommy built for me. "For when life's too heavy." he said.
Oh, but I loved that treehouse; spent so many hours there doing nothing but think about life: about how unfair it was, the way it put heaven in your hands only to snatch it from you when you least expected it, how hard it was to understand parents sometimes, and myself; how noisy the world was- how difficult to find a quiet place. I thought about the present day, wondered what tomorrow would bring(if it would leave my life as it was, or change it into something I would hate). Mostly, though, I would think about Tommy ( wishing, praying, hoping, as his dad did, that we'd be together always).

But life goes its own way, dragging us right along with it, whether we wish to go or not. And the years pass, each one confronting us with truths we weren't quite ready to face like: waking up one day, realizing that not only has youth left us, but we are no longer in the middle-age bracket either. It takes longer now, to do those things we once did so quickly. And we're not always comfortable with the stranger in the mirror, nor with our bodies, which far too often seem to betray us.
   But we are always going through some kind of transition, whether big or small.
And not all changes are bad. Like many of you I am facing difficult things: two sisters, both with serious health issues (diabetes complications and cancer), a daughter who is going to lose her home, a son whose marriage is failing, a sister with Parkinsons, whose husband's heart is bad, a brother -in-law whose heart is bad too, a son who has removed himself from family, and the list goes on.
   So many hurting people in the world, but even so...we are all blessed. Every one of us. As I so often say, Be brave, Have courage. Every trial comes to its own end. And remember that it isn't who we are, but WHOSE we are.

I wish you all good things: love, hope, joy, laughter and peace.
Talk to you soon.

Love you much.

Just Thinking

2011-08-04T15:24:00.000-07:00

Life is strange. You never know if it's going to put something wonderful into your life- or take something out of it. It can keep you full of excitement, or fill your moments with fear. It can be an easy ride, as pleasant as spending an afternoon in a canoe, or a ride that terrifies you; so much so that you pray for death to take you. And somewhere in the middle is love, which is the most awesome thing. Love can bring the strongest man to his knees, can tear down any wall, and can break a heart faster than the sun can melt ice.

A man sometimes has empty spots within him- is oftentimes unaware of it until he comes around a bend in the road and meets love face-to-face. That can scare a man, especially if that man believes himself to be full. When that man meets love, he finds himself slowing down, thinking before speaking or doing; finds himself putting himself in other people's shoes- not rushing into anything. He tries hard to live up to what God says love is.

Well, these are just a few of the thoughts that were, and still are, floating around in my head. I am going through a pretty rough time at the moment, having to experience, in my opinion, the worst moment of a man's life, which is to lose somebody they love. Another goodbye is just ahead, a final one. Guess the thought of it evoked billions of memories, memories that will carry me through the worst of my days- the worst of my nights.

Whether your day is a good one - or a bad one, look for the sunniest, shiniest, brightest moments in your day. Create new memories every chance you get. And remember the value of being as gentle- as kind to yourselves as you are to others.

My prayer for you today is that the Lord's peace is ever with you; that you know that fear only has as much power as we give it, and that every trial, no matter how painful or sad, does eventually, come to its own end.

Small Boy- Huge Blessing

2011-07-15T08:49:00.000-07:00

I'd been sitting at the computer for several hours, updating journals and answering mail, when I got an email from a friend. She asked me to pray for a little boy who has cancer." He's just five years old." she wrote," and his Grandmother is very worried about him."

I wrote her back, asking her to send me the Grandmother's email address. As soon as I received it, I wrote the grandmother, asking her to tell me about her grandson. The letter she wrote me was long and quite sad. Her love for her grandson was so great that the very thought of losing him was making her ill. "I can't sleep," she wrote, "and can't keep food down much either. I cry all the time. My precious Marco (her grandson) is my heart. He has been in and out of the hospital, Barb, since he was three and a half. The cancer went away but came back again, six months ago. The chemo is not helping much. He is wasting away, is nothing but skin and bones. "

I asked about Marco's parents. She wrote "His father cries almost as much as I do. His mother is like a zombie, just walks around the house, doing things that need to be done, then sits down and stares into space. And Marco's little brother, who is three, keeps begging to see Marco. But Marco won't see him. He gets hysterical if asked to see his brother. He says "I'm ugly now, with no hair. I don't want my brother to see me."so the parents don't make him. They try to keep him calm as they can.

"Barb ( the letter continued). "This is so hard. What will I do if my sweet Marco dies? I don't know what to do to help him. He looks like a little old man; never smiles any more, doesn't talk much, just gets more depressed."

Sleep became rather elusive once I began writing Marco's grandmother. I kept thinking of this small child, so loved, who was dying a little every day. I prayed about it; asked God to bless Marco and his family, and to help me find a way to lift their spirits. He did.

I bought two big bottles of Bubbles, 1 smaller bottle of Bubbles, and six fancy Bubble wands. I also purchased a miniature Bambi. Angels must have delivered Marco's present, because it seemed I barely sent it, when I got a thank you letter from his Grandmother.

"Dear Barb. I can't thank you enough. I wish you could have been here when my sweet Marco opened the gift you sent. He is very weak, and the medicine he's taking makes him very sleepy at times too, so when he got the present unwrapped, it took him a few minutes to realize what he was looking at. He was too weak to open the bottle of bubbles, so I did. I dipped a wand into the bottle, then waved it back and forth. Bubbles were everywhere, BIG ones as well as little ones. Marco's smile, Barb, lit up the room. He said,"Let me try, Grandma." I held the bottle, while he dipped the wand. When he waved it back and forth and saw the bubbles, he laughed, Barb...for the first time in many months. And not only that, he said, "Go get Anthony (his little brother)
so he can blow bubbles too. And the sweet Bambi, Barb, he plays with it all day, and at night, when he goes to sleep, he places Bambi on his pillow. "

A small gift, bubbles, but what huge blessings came out of that gift. Marco's grandmother tells me that Marco never runs out of Bubbles. It has become his favorite thing. This happened three years ago. Marco is now eight, has thick, curly hair and runs and plays like any other eight-year old boy.

And Bubbles? I keep many bottles on hand. I take some with me when I go anywhere; hand them out to kids, to people sitting alone on a bench, to family members, to neighbors, to anybody who crosses my path. Sometimes I sit on our patio, and blow bubbles. Try it. Silly as it sounds, you just may surprise yourself- just may enjoy being a kid again.

Why not purchase a few bottles of Bubbles for yourself. Keep them on hand- haul them out when

you are lonely, feeling a little blue, or just wanting to lower your stress level. Hand them out to strangers. It's amazing how such a small thing as blowing bubbles can lift one's spirits.

First Impressions Are Not Always Right

2011-07-11T10:50:00.000-07:00

People matter to me, so I go out of my way to understand them; to learn what makes them happy, angry, sad, disappointed, hopeful, depressed, or fearful. I try to learn what makes them feel good about themselves, hate themselves, get to the point that they want to give up. I like to know why some people are so successful, while others struggle just to make ends meet; like to know why some individuals have dreams and set goals, while others set no goals, don't even have a dream.

What I know about people, including myself, is that their inside seldom matches their outside. It is wise to look behind angry words. An angry person is usually a hurting person.

A smile doesn't always mean a person is happy, and tears don't always mean a person is sad. People who don't cry are oftentimes seen as cold, but often it's simply their way of keeping strong. It happens sometimes, that if you've cried openly, shared that deep sorrow, and got put down for it, were criticized and ridiculed, you no longer cry; or if you do, it is when you are alone. As well, many hurting people are afraid to let themselves cry; believing that once they start they might not be able to stop. I have felt like that many times.

We all influence somebody, every moment of our lives, but just don't realize it. We're influenced by another person's confidence, their strong faith, their talent, perhaps just their ability to express themselves. We're influenced by those who climbed to the top, when others failed to believe they'd be able too.

People wear masks; pretending to be happy, when they aren't, pretending to be alright, when inside, they are falling apart. They pretend to be satisfied with their looks, but in reality hate themselves, always wishing they were different.

People pretend to be strong because others tell keep telling them how strong they are. It never occured to them to just be honest and say."Look, I"m not feeling so strong today. I am really afraid, or insecure, or feeling lost and misplaced, or worse, losing the desire to live. Could you stay with me for a little while, or call me?"

People have become cautious, find it difficult to trust. Our world has become such a dangerous place that many have chosen to make a fortress out of their home, becoming increasingly fearful to venture out of it. Their comfort zones have shrunk.
Where once they covered a huge amount of space- it now covers very little, usually only includes a trip from home to the store, to a relatives house, a doctor maybe, and to church. Some people are even afraid to enjoy their front yards. It is wise to be cautious, but a mistake, I believe, to let those who are evil have such control over our lives. Bad things happen to good people sometimes. It hurts, but it's true, But in the end, I know that everything will one day be made right.

I can say this because man is not in control. God still is.

For prayers, encouraging words, good wishes, and the unexpected cards and letters.

Diamonds & Pearls

2011-07-07T22:10:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning with a particular song on my mind. It's been playing steadily for over a week now, so thought writing it out would perhaps slow it down a bit. Just kidding. This song is one I don't mind playing a lot, even if it's inside my head, and not on a turntable.
  Do you remember this song?
I got no diamonds, got no pearls,
Still I think I'm a lucky girl,
I've got the sun in the morning
And the moon at night.
That's all I remember, but it's enough to keep me smiling. How could I not? Diamonds are gorgeous, sparkly things, but very expensive too. And pearls are not cheap. But without possessing either of them, I consider myself very rich.

I am rich because I have the sun to warm my bones, the moon to enable me to see God's nightlights, which remind me that HE is always on call, always there, should I need him, and I always do.

I am rich because my life experiences have taught me to be brave, to hang tough, when the ground is pulled out from beneath me; to hang tough when I'm disappointed, to hang tough when I'm misunderstood, or unjustly accused of something. My life experiences have taught me that love once given, is never wasted. They have taught me that forgiveness is possible. All I had to do was say the words, then ask the Lord to help me mean what I say.

I'm rich, because I understand that it's never about who I am, but WHOSE I am.

Many of you, I'm sure, are having to cope with a lot; have problems that weigh heavy upon your heart as well as your mind. I'd like to remind you that every trial comes to its own end. And as long as you keep a tight hold on your faith, you'll be okay.

I may not have walked in all of your shoes, but have in several. I understand how difficult it is to deal with chronic pain, how it feels to hurt or be misunderstood. I know what constant criticism does to one's self-esteem, know how heavy lonely can be. I know the sting of betrayal, being almost homeless, being out of work, having problems with your children. I know the pain of having loved ones struggling with addictions, and how it feels to have death steal a loved one away. I know too, what it feels like to feel alone, though you are surrounded by people.

It's not always easy to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it pays to believe that it exists- that you will see it down the way.
   I always tell my children that "Attitude is Everything." It pays to focus on the Up- side of things, rather then the Down side. I tell them too, that the choices we make, or don't make, determine, to a large degree, what kind of life we'll have, how each of our "Today's" will go.

If you're having a good day embrace each moment, for time passes swiftly. If your day is not going very well, make the decision to look for the blessing in it. Trust me. There is one.

   My prayer for you today, is that you don't let the day pass without spending out what God has given you. Every one of us has something that can, if we share it, uplift somebody else. It may be something as simple as thanking somebody, or as great a thing as forgiving somebody you've not been able to forgive. I pray that each of you will remember how unique and precious you are; that nobody can be YOU better than YOU.

Well, I've rambled enough. Just wanted to share that song with you, and wish you an awesome day. Keep smiling, keep humming that tune, keep trusting and believing that your turn will come. And keep loving the unlovable, forgiving those difficult to forgive.
After all, isn't that the way the Lord always treats us?

LETTING GO

2011-07-06T06:55:00.000-07:00

This wonderful poem has helped me make
wiser decisions without feeling guilty.
It is my prayer that it helps you too.

Letting Go

To let go doesn't mean to stop caring,

it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off,

it's the realization that I can't control another.
To let go is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To let go is not to try to change or blame another,
I can only change myself.
To let go is not to care for,but to care about.
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.

To let go is not to be in the middle arranging the outcome,
but to allow others to effect their own outcomes.
To let go is not being protective, it's allowing another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny,
but to accept.

To let go is not to nag, scold, or argue,
but to recognize my own shortcomings and to correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes.
To let go is not to criticize and regulate everyone,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.

To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more.

-Author Unknown.

Have an awesome day. Remember,
life is short so create a beautiful memory.

Good Morning, Guys & Dolls

2011-07-01T08:27:00.000-07:00

I had a neighbor ask me "Are you always this happy?" My answer was yes. I have no reason not to be. I have the Lord with me every day. My body is still working for me in spite of health issues. I have family members enduring hard, painful situations, children who have lost their way, and a husband whose health is failing, but I never forget that my worst day is the kind of day some people face every day, with no friends, no love, and no support. There is always somebody worse off than me.

I am loved, have people in my life who believe in me, in my goals and in the dreams I hold so tightly too. I am content with what I have and have learned not to take life, or myself too seriously.

I've also met some compassionate, caring, loving, supportive people, here on the Internet, people who take time out to email me even when they're busy, or going through hard times themselves. They have no idea how much they have blessed me, how much those unexpected notes uplift and encourage me.

I am able to spend time alone each day, which strengthens me, helps me remain focused, and enables me to have a quiet mind and a peaceful heart. Solitude also enables me to hear more clearly, that which the Lord would have me hear.

I've learned, but not easily, how to live in the present moment, rather than waste time looking over my shoulder, longing to relive what once was. I hope that you are happy too; that each morning you are able to see the many blessings God sends your way, and that you're able to recognize and appreciate
the unique, and special individual you are.

Well, July 4th is just around the corner. It offers us opportunity to share so much with family and friends, to create special memories that will, down the way, see us through our more difficult times. Have a wonderful time. I'm not too sure what we will be doing on that day, but know new memories will be created.

DON'T FORGET TO PRAY FOR OUR TROOPS.

.

Regarding Betrayal (a requested repost )

2011-06-30T18:18:00.000-07:00

I have a dear friend who emailed me a few days ago, saying, "Barb, I need a favor. I shared with you that my marriage was in serious trouble, had been for years. And because of the lack of communication and how tall the walls between my wife and I were, I strayed. I didn't mean too. It was, at first, a genuine mistake, one I regretted so much I determined in my heart to work hard at my marriage, especially since we have the four children. But my efforts didn't work. My wife still loves me, doesn't want a divorce, but I do. I care for her but am now in love with this other woman. My favor? I need some advice. Do I stay, miserable as the situation is, for the sake of the children, or do I leave? Please get back to me ASAP.

I sent an instant message to my friend, asking "Do you wish for me to tell you what you want to hear, or to be honest?
He wrote back " Hard as it may be to hear, I wish you to be honest. I trust you."
My Reply:

Dear,
First, let me tell you how sorry I am that things have gotten so off the track for the two of you. I've known you both for many years, know you both to be decent, caring, loving people. But things happen. The ones we love are imperfect, make mistakes,.just as everybody else does. Sometimes those mistakes are so small they wouldn't make a ripple in a pond. But other times, mistakes made can be very harmful, spilling hurt upon not jut the one who made the mistake, but to all who love and care for that person.
    I am no authority on this kind of situation, but have experienced betrayal twice, so DO know a great deal about how it touches everybody, especially the children. Do I think you ought to stay, miserable as you are, or leave? That question is one you have to answer yourself. But the advice I will give you, is advice, that I truly believe if you follow, will make it easier for you, and for your wife.
Ending a marriage is a sad, painful thing, especially if your spouse still loves you and wants you to stay. Life offers no easy answers, my friend. When something this serious comes up, you must address it head on. I have been betrayed twice, as you well know. You know too, that because I turned to the Lord for help, this marriage has been saved. We've been together for almost 37 years now, and never been happier. I have reminded you of this because I don't want you to forget, that should you choose too, and truly want to make your marriage work, God would bless you and help you do that. If both parties want it to work and God is in the middle, it will work.

Now, regarding what you should do. You ask if you should go or stay, for the sake of the children. The best way to make good decisions on anything, my friend, is by asking ourselves the most difficult questions, the most painful, but honest questions we can think of like:
1- If I leave my wife, will I be able to handle the guilt I'm going to feel?
2- If I leave my wife will I be able to live with the damage it is going to do to our children?
3- Will I be able to endure my children pulling away from me, being angry at me, thinking I don't love them anymore?
4- Will I be able to handle the many questions my children are going to throw at me?
3- If I leave my wife, can I handle what this will do to her since she has always treated me so well, treated me with such respect, always looked up to me, been my best friend?
4- Have I taken the time to think about the history of our marriage, of all that my wife and I have been through together?
5- Have I taken time to consider the many times she has forgiven me so quickly, been merciful when I didn't deserve it?"
6- Have I considered how little I know about the woman I now claim to love? Unlike my wife, I don't know how she'd treat me if I were really sick, really stressing out, lost my good paying job. I don't know how she will be about me seeing my children, me still having contact with my now present wife.

The above questions are but a few you need to ask yourself. I'm sure, if you take time to do it, you can think of many more. The more questions you come up with (honest, painful ones), the more sure you can be that your decision will be the right one.
    My dear friend, I suggest that when you have time, and can be alone, imagine yourself without your wife. Imagine (really imagine), how it would be without her, to not hear her laugh, to not see her smile, to not share meals with her, not to have her as your best friend any more. Imagine how you would feel if something happened to her, how you'd feel not being able to talk to her about what hurts you, like you once did. You two were very close once. I know that people have told you "well things change. People fall out of love sometimes."
True as that may be, I believe it is also true that love between two people does not always die. It just gets buried when people forget what brought them together in the first place; gets buried beneath health problems, financial problems, in-law problems, priorities in the wrong place, problems with the kids, etc.

I would like to point out something to you, left it till the last, hoping you will not easily forget it. You asked should you stay, miserable as you are for the sake of the children. How, dear one, does staying, under those conditions bless your children? What do you think the tension, angry words, shouting, threats, demands, broken promises, will do to them? Trust me, it will touch them, but not in a good way. Having come from a very horrific childhood, I know first hand what it does to children. A child might have both parents in the home, but if there is no security there, no safety, no open affection, nobody taking time to fill their needs, the child, in every sense of the word, is alone.
Whatever you decide to do, know I am in your corner always, your wife's too. Pray first, my friend, before doing anything else. God is so much wiser than we are.

ALL THINGS WORK FOR OUR GOOD

2011-06-28T09:36:00.000-07:00

When I was nine I was bored, and becoming a pest to the adults around me, so my uncle gave me an old clock to tinker with. I held it to my ear, while listening to it's soft ticking sound, and then, being curious, I took it apart. I was too young to understand what made it tick, but did discover that it took many different parts to make the clock work as it should.

Like the clock, a man requires more than one part if he is to function properly, and be able to cope with the realities of life. He could not possess just one part and be complete; could not, for instance just have patience. If patience was all he had, what would he do if he found himself in a situation that required courage or faith? What if he were to need compassion, or understanding. wisdom, mercy, or strength? We need a lot of parts in order to not just cope with the harshness of life, but to be able to appreciate, and value it as well.

The world our wonderful God created is made up of opposites: night-day, sorrow-joy, spring-winter, etc. We could never appreciate the more colorful one, the one that makes us happy, unless we've first tasted the bitterness of the trials we've experienced.
God does not always send the trials we're confronted with, but he most definitely allows them. How else could He make sure that we have the parts we'd need in order to overcome the difficulties in our lives, as well as be a blessing to those around us who are hurting? Yes, there is a harshness to life; much pain and enormous sorrow, but there is always their opposite.

Whenever I see a rainbow, I see the darker colors as the trials I've been through, the brighter colors, as joy; the JOY God gave me for trusting Him during the darkest moments of my life: the death of my parents, a betrayal, a failed marriage, having a child in an abusive relationship for years, the loss of a very dear friend, a job, two precious children in trouble.
My greatest JOY fills me up, and that JOY comes from HE who believed in me, loved me, forgave me, when nobody else could- or would.

All Things Work Together For Good To Them That Love God. Romans 8:28

What a powerful blessing, what reassuring words to a troubled person, somebody not understanding what it takes for us to function properly, not understanding what we need, in order to cope with the hard side of life.
   It says all things (WORK), which means everything has been checked out, nothing
will break down and leave us stranded. It means all things are working (NOW), at this
very minute, and for our good.
   It means we have no reason to doubt or be troubled about the trials we are facing. Each part is necessary in order for us to be successful; to grow, and become the kind
of people God desires us to be.

   AND WE KNOW (we are positve)

THAT ALL THINGS (every single thing)
WORK TOGETHER FOR GOOD (not evil)

TO WHO? ( to those who love the Lord).

Let's not worry and fret any more, but give our burdens to the Lord.
We have but to say, "Father, this is just to heavy for me."
He is more than willing to carry it.

***************************************************************************
Hope you remember that each day is a gift just waiting to be unwrapped.

2011-06-27T09:51:00.000-07:00

The one thing I am most thankful for, at the moment, is that I have not forgotten to look for the blessings during my darkest, most painful moments. They are always there. But sometimes, when we are discouraged, weary, in a lot of pain or overwhelmed, we lose our bearings. It's hard to stay focused when we've lost a lot of sleep, hurt, or have more than one thing at a time to deal with.

What has helped me the most is remembering to start my morning with the Lord. I thank Him for the day's gift of life, then thank Him for being willing to listen to me,
and for helping me find solutions to my problems. I had been thinking about his
faithfulness when a dear friend asked me why I thought she had such a hard time
with her faith. "It's up, then down." she told me. "And you know I love the Lord and DO believe in Him, Barb. It gets me so discouraged."

I thought about her question for awhile, then told her I felt she was forgetting that she is no different than the precious people in the Bible. Every one of them, I told her, struggled with their faith at times. We are all strong, I said, but not always. We have faith, but at times it might waver. The fact that it does, doesn't mean we no longer have faith. It just means that perhaps we've not kept it as active as we should have. Faith, when not put to use, is nothing but a five letter word. We've all been given a measure of faith, but how large and strong that faith becomes depends upon whether or not we keep it active.

If your day is going badly; if you are afraid, feeling insecure, worried about loved ones, are sick, lost, or wondering what to do about your situation, remember that God is home every day, leaves his nightlights on at night to reassure us of that fact. (smiling as I write that, remembering that is what I told my son when he was little, when he became afraid of the dark). Viewing it that way reminds me too, that God understands when I am fearful. Several times, in His Word, He says "Be not afraid." He encourages us to be strong and full of courage. Leaning upon Him rather than ourselves makes our burdens so much lighter.

Sometimes it seems as if nothing will ever get better. It seems like the harder you try, the worse things get. I know that feeling, have felt it many times. And it is painful. But when things are difficult we have to keep on keeping on, always reminding ourselves that it won't always rain, that even if we cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel, it IS there, and one day we WILL be able to see it.

It helps to reach out to others too, even if we may be shy about it, have never done it before. Trust me, there are many people on the Internet with the largest hearts in the world, people, who would reach out to support you if only they were aware of your need..

I want to take a minute here to thank those of you who have taken time for me. You've taken time to comment on what I write, even though it may not be something you're particularly interested in. You've taken time to email me just to say hello, and ask how I am doing. You've gone out of your way to make me know I matter. For that I am, and will ever be eternally grateful.

To all of you, remember to create a special memory today. Life is short, is here, then gone- like a wisp of smoke.

Something To Ask Yourself When Stressed.

Is this really going to matter a few months from now?
Choose your battles wisely (a lesson I learned the hard way).

Have an awesome day.

Barb

DO OUR WORDS BLESS- OR HURT?

2011-06-24T10:56:00.000-07:00

I decided to write about words this morning because of what I see and hear around me. Of all the lessons I have learned in my lifetime, recognizing the power of words is the lesson that improved my relationships and enabled me to work through problems with those I care about, rather than shutting them out of my life as I used too when younger.

Words are powerful things; so powerful we have to be careful how we string them together in our sentences, our speech, our letters, and emails. Words can make a man, or break a man; inspire him, or destroy him. They will motivate him, or steal his joy, hope, and peace. They will fill him with despair, or cause him to believe that nothing is impossible. Words will encourage a man, or discourage him, leaving him feeling empty, asking himself "why bother to try anymore?"

The words we put into our minds are powerful too, for we believe what we tell ourselves. If we tell ourselves "I can't." we've pretty much killed our motivation. If we tell ourselves how afraid we are, we become fearful, insecure people. What we tell ourselves determines, to a large degree, what choices we will make, or not make.

I have made it a point, for the last year, to pay attention to what I'm been telling myself. To say I was surprised at what this experiment taught me, would be an understatement.

Listed below is an example of just some of the things I'd been telling myself. The original list was longer, so I am making progress. Paying attention to what I say has improved my life by 80 %, and I know it will continue to get better. I'm posting this because I thought perhaps some of you might be telling yourselves these things too.

List of Things I've Told Myself when, sad, lonely, afraid, overwhelmed,or
feeling discouraged.

1- I can't do this.
2- This is too hard.
3- I'll never be able to understand this.
4- Nothing ever changes.
5- I can't do anything right.
6- Nobody cares any way.
7 -I'm too old.
8- I'm not smart enough.
9- What's the sense of trying?
10- I'll never get back in shape.

Distortions of Logic. That's what the above statements are, things I told myself, so many times my mind recorded it. The more I said it, the more I believed it. It's taken
me a long time to realize the harm I was doing to myself, how what I told myself altered my life, usually not in a good way.

So, how about you? What negative tapes do you still run in your mind, if any?

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

1-Friendship disappears when misused, leaving the fool to stand alone.

2- Unwavering faith can handle anything.

3- If you are going to dream, dream BIG. Nothing is impossible to God.

4- The choice to live with- or without fear, is ours to make.

5- Love cannot enter if the door to the heart is closed.

6- Setting high goals is a good thing, but we must also
    recognize our limitations.

7- A crisis reveals to the world- the heart of a man.

8- Speak gentle, kind, loving words - or remain silent.

9- You may feel as if you are lost but in truth, you are not: God
    always knows where you are.

10- If you think you can't do something you never will.

Take it easy today, guys & dolls. Enjoy the moments of your life as they
come, and if possible, create a beautiful memory for somebody who
least expected it.

Love you much,

Barb

ODDS & ENDS

2011-06-23T08:34:00.000-07:00

How are you this morning? I'm hoping when you got out of bed you said to yourself, "It's going to be a great day." Why do I hope that?
Because #1, we believe what we tell ourselves. And # 2, What we believe determines, to a large degree, how our day will flow.

It's not always easy to do the right thing,  to keep being polite to rude people, to accept responsibility for our words and actions. But choosing to do these things will make a difference in our family, in our relationships, in our community, in our churches, and in the world.

It's always bothered me to hear somebody say (and believe too), that one person can't make a difference. A lot of the time, when this is said, those saying it are thinking in terms of money. They've told me. "I'd love to help, Barb, but I live on a very small budget." I understand that because I do too, many people do. The thing is, there are so many things one can do, if only they would. If you've read this far, please leave a comment giving suggestions on what one person could do. Imagine if we all read the suggestions and did the majority of them, or better yet..ALL of them.

A few suggestions:

1- Type in USO on your toolbar and when the page comes up, choose
something to do. I send messages of encouragement and am writing some of the soldiers who seldom, if ever, get mail

2- Check on your neighbor. If you don't know them, introduce yourself. Every one of us will be in need at some time. Wouldn't it be nice if when your neighbor was in need, YOU were the first one there?

3- If you have kids, fill up a large, pretty bottle with slips of paper in it, each slip of paper telling that child a reason why you love them or are proud of them, or offering words of encouragement. I did this for each of my children, two when preteens, the others when they were teens, around sixteen. That gift was largely responsible for keeping the lines of communication open. Sometimes, my kids were not receptive, were so angry at my NO, that they were not talking to me. I'd write them a letter. They might not talk to me but would, most of the time read a letter or note I'd written to them.

4- When you go shopping, pick up a few extra cans of food, then began filling
a box at home. When it's full, take it to somebody you know who is having a really hard time.

5- Okay. Let's hear some of yours. I want to add to mine, really want to
make somebody's life a little better. I'm sure you want to do this too.
Thanks ahead of time for helping me out with this.

The three P's:

1- The Past, appropriately named because things once experienced belong
     there, especially those things that have hurt us, disappointed us, caused
     us to fill up with resentment; things that we either wish we'd not done, or
     that somebody hadn't done to us. Dragging them up and throwing them
     back into the face of somebody we said we'd forgiven puts our life on hold
     and robs us of the happiness we could have.

2- The Present-
     Teaching ourselves how to remain in the present, to truly focus on the
     good things happening around us and in our lives, keep us from
     making our burdens weigh more than they actually do.

3- The future-
     Nothing to worry about. The God who was with us yesterday, is with us
    today, will be with us tomorrow- and forever.

Have an awesome day. Be good to yourselves- good to others too.

Love you much,

Barb

REMEMBERING

2011-06-22T15:51:00.000-07:00

Somewhere in the diamond lit sky, there is a star with my name on it.
Somewhere, the dreams I had so long ago are touching the clouds.
Right now I may be grounded, but there is always tomorrow, and tomorrow I
will fly.

I've been thinking about love: the height and width..the deepness of it,
remembering how good it tasted, the one sip I had.

I am looking at a rainbow, its colors as dazzling as what I see
in the eyes of the one who holds my heart.

I am listening to the collective sigh of a tired universe- and a cricket.

Oh, but the heart can sing when love resides there,
but how quickly the spirit dies when love flies away.

No matter the miles between us.
I am where you are for when we met- we became one.

What rests within a touch? Everything!

Fill my cup with thy love, I pray, lest this day be empty of life.
Let me then fill yours, so the connection between us remains forever.

Love once given is never wasted. It flows endlessly, for all time.

HARD TIMES

2011-06-20T23:53:00.000-07:00

It isn't easy to be brave when facing trials; not easy to pretend to be strong when your legs are threatening to give out...your heart too.
I know this because life has blown a huge hole in my comfort zone, forcing me to experience things I'd rather not face, forcing me to embrace change rather than run from it. Life, being unpredictable, buckled me into a roller-coaster without even asking if I wanted to go for a ride.

One minute I was feeling safe, secured, and strongly rooted, and the next moment found myself deep in quicksand. It hurts! But know what?
I am allowing myself to cry, allowing myself to grieve for all that is being taken away from me. But I'm reminding myself not to forget to embrace the good things in life, the things we too often take for granted.

What things? Things like the rising and setting of the sun, the dependability of God's love and His Word, the night-lights He turns on when the world's shades are pulled down to let us know He is there, should we need Him; the love gazing back at us in the eyes of those we love, or the laughter of our children and grandchildren, the smile from a stranger or the unexpected help we didn't expect to get?

I have to remind myself of all these things and more, in order to make it through a day sometimes. But always, even midst the darkest moments of my life I am comforted- knowing that each trial comes to its own end, and no matter how much I am hurting, somewhere in the world, somebody is hurting much more than I am.

If you, like me, have been buckled into the roller-coaster without wanting to go for the ride, be brave. We are all much stronger than we believe ourselves to be. And as long as we keep the lantern of Hope going, we will do okay.

If you are, at least for today, having a great day (and I pray most of you are), than don't forget to count your blessings. Use the moments given you to create memories that will keep your rocky roads lit.

Thank you, guys & dolls for the prayers and good thoughts. I appreciate every one of them.

Trying To Catch Up

2011-06-12T15:08:00.000-07:00

Hello everybody,

I can't believe I let so much time go by without posting.
I had good intentions, but as you can see, I missed the
mark by a mile, if not more. It's a first for me, as far as
not posting goes. I can remember when I had six journals
going at the same time, and each one was kept up.

I hope today finds each of you embracing the days moments as they come, not missing the miracle contained within it. Oh, I know, sometimes it isn't easy to believe in miracles, especially if you are still trying to work through a major loss. But try to believe. Hold tight to HOPE, for it is what enables us to keep going when all we want to do is quit.

I talked to some people recently who were telling me how they dreaded
an upcoming family reunion. I can remember feeling the same way when younger. Thankfully, I got wiser; learned that the reason some reunions turn out badly for some individuals is because they had unrealistic expectations. Sound familiar? You know how it is. We get happy...all
excited, thinking about seeing loved ones. In our minds we play out just how it is going to go. Everybody is going to get along, have a great time.
There will be no tension, no fighting, no walls erected. (only in our dreams, right?) smiling here, guys & dolls.

It is so gorgeous out, not hot, no raining, not windy or cold. It's just sunny and about 78. I am looking forward to feeling better so I can venture out more. It has only been several weeks since I had back surgery, and though I am doing extremely well (no braces at all, or walker), I still have to take it slow, which doesn't come easy. Because I feel so much better I have a tendency to take on too much then don't feel my best.
I am looking forward to summer picnics, playing with our granddaughter, Jennifer Joy, who starts school this year, turned 5 in January. Wish all our grandchildren lived close, and great-grandchildren too. They all live out of state so we seldom get to see any of them. Thank goodness for Facebook.

My apologies for the shortness of this entry. I promise they will be better as I improve. Hope to hear from all of you soon. I'll be visiting your journals soon. Miss you all & love you much.

GOOD MORNING

2011-06-07T13:06:00.000-07:00

Hello, guys & dolls.

It has been quite awhile since I have posted so am hoping you won't mind helping me out a little bit. Things have changed a bit since I last blogged. I am having trouble getting posting pictures, which is why there isn't any on this entry. I'd appreciate some help.

That aside, let me say I have remembered each of you in prayer, have thought about you often, always with great affection. Remembering how we first met and all we have been through together ...well, it showed me that we were not strangers but family.
So family...get back to me and let me know what has been going on with you.
Have you remembered how special you are, that dreams DO come true, and that it is never about who we are but WHOSE we are? Have you remembered that a new day means a new way; an opportunity to do things better, a do-over, like we had when we were kids. Remember how great that was?

Life can get pretty rough sometimes. Trials can seem to take away every bit of security we had, often gets us so stressed that we forget that each trial comes to its own end, that there really is a rainbow just around the corner. We must never lose HOPE, must always keep its flame burning.
We must not allow ourselves to remember that kindness, compassion and affection can tear down steel walls, can melt a cold heart faster than the sun can melt an ice-cube.
However your day goes today, don't forget to embrace its blessings, to be grateful for them. There are so many, even on our darkest day. We just have to look a little harder to find them.

A few of you that I have made contact with of late have asked how things are going in my corner of the world. Well, I won't deny I've been through some pretty rough waters since last I blogged, but the Lord never let me sink. He always honored the faith I had.
The back surgery I had three weeks ago went well. I am recovering faster than most, I am told. My husband's health is much worse than it was a year ago. He gets discouraged, but I remind him to take it a day at a time, a minute at a time, if that is what it takes.
One of my sons went to rehab and is doing so great. I am so proud of him, especially because of all he gave up in order to do it. That was one of the prayers the Lord answered for me. It took many years but God is faithful.

Can't overdo, so must cut this short. I will be catching up with your blogs a little at a time, so be patient okay? Miss you all so much. I am so looking forward to being in touch again.

Till next time, take care of yourselves.

Don't forget that Life Is Short..so create some awesome memories.

Love you much,

Barb

HELLO AGAIN

2010-06-27T14:18:00.000-07:00

It's been too long, hasn't it? So sorry. I had a lot of things to tend too. You know how it is. Everything is going well and then, when you least expect it, the ground is pulled out from beneath you. We all experience that at some point in our lives.
   I've missed you very much; miss keeping in touch like I used too. Before AOL shut down the journal section, going online was a real treat. I don't feel that way now, although I DO love that I've managed to keep in touch with many of my AOL friends, as well as making new friends. I'm certain many of you feel the same way.

I just got back from California a few days ago, was given airplane fare for my Mother's day present. It was more than a treat, for I was able to visit two of my sisters. Both of them have serious health problems. I got to visit with them and their families, as well as one of my brothers, my daughter and her family. AND...got to meet one of my granddaughter's new baby girl. She is three months old and a real beauty; looks like her Mommy. She and her husband named her Madison Elizabeth.
   .
What's going on in your world? I hope you'll take time to share with me when you're able. Have you remembered how special, how unique a person you are, and how much God loves you? Have you remembered that every trial comes to its own end, and that all things work together for good (and that includes the bad and difficult times)? Have you remembered to treat yourselves as gently and as kindly as you do everybody else, and remembered that it won't always rain? I ask these things because we all forget them sometimes. I know I have. And when I forget them, life is much harder, my burdens much heavier.

Sometimes, mostly at night, when the rest of the world sleeps, I fix myself a cup of tea, settle down in the living-room chair, and think of each one of you, remembering the first time our paths crossed; how delightful it was getting to know you: what your likes and dislikes were, what made you smile, what angered you, what set your heart upon the ground, or made you feel like the most loved, the most special person in the world. I'd take memory walks, reminding myself of your goodness, how quick you were to pray for me, to send me cards or email me when I needed prayer, how loving when my heart was broken - my spirit as well.
It wasn't easy at first, sharing so much of myself. But doing it taught me a wonderful thing- that the tighter we cling to our pain, our sadness, our hurts, our disappointments, and our fears, the longer and harder it is to turn loose of them. Wiser it is, I think, to remind ourselves that the world runs on opposites: there is a birth- a death, a man gets hired- a man loses his job, somebody marries, somebody gets a divorce, the sun rises- the sun sets, we have a good day- a bad day follows it. But no matter what our day contains, whether good or bad, each day contains a blessing- ALWAYS. The only way we'll miss it is to not watch for it.

I am grateful for todays gift of life, for the many who remember me in prayer, for this opportunity to meet new people and become friends, to share experiences. I'm grateful too, for the trials in my life. Without them I'd have learned nothing. I'd not have learned that I'm stronger than I believe myself to be, that what I see is not always the way it is, and that no matter how deep the pain or sorrow of the heart, a rainbow is always just around the corner.

There have been so many horrific things happening in the world, things that have left thousands of people homeless. We must not forget to pray for these dear ones. We are so blessed to live in America, to have our needs met each day.
Remember to pray for our troops too.

This is a rather short entry, but at least I've touched base with you,
let you know I'm still around. Take care of yourselves.

Have an awsome day.

Barb

2010-03-26T14:17:00.000-07:00

My version of the Alphabet
(only posting part today)

A- Always be yourself.
Those that truly love you will accept the person
you are; those that don't cheat themselves out of
precious memories.
B- Stands for beauty.
We see ourselves negatively when displeased with
the reflection in the mirror. But in truth, we are not what we
feel, nor just what we look like; that's just the wrapping on
the package.
Who we really are, deep down, is what our actions,
words, and desires reveal us to be.
Rejection by others reveals a lack of knowledge as
to what love really is, and is a sign of immaturity.

C- is for Courage, Caring, Calmness
Being courageous will eventually get you walking
on smooth pavement, will turn your dreams into
realities, and enable you do what must be done.

Caring for yourself is as important as caring for others.
Nobody understands your needs better than you do.
Taking time for the person you are will strengthen you;

make it possible for you to care for those you love.
Calmness is the ultimate high. You know this from
time spent alone, listening to Bach or Mozart.
Calmness midst thunder is a mighty weapon,
one that seldom, if ever, lets us down.

D- Duty & Day

Duty requires doing necessary things, but our duties
are not always what others claim them to be, or demand
that we do. We alone know where to place the boundary line.
Place yours wherever it protects you. Keep yourself safe.
A Day--
A day is 24 hours of moments given us to spend as
we wish. Don't allow other people to dictate to you how
you are to spend yours, nor tie your time up taking care of
things they alone are responsible for. I wish you success
in learning how to live in the moment.

E- Everlasting
That is what God's love for us is.
But not all things last forever, even those things we try
so hard to believe in. Seasons come and go in spite of us,

as does time. Changes can occur rapidly, leaving us
devestated, angry, alone, heartsick, insecure, and
worried. Fortunately, though there is no security found
in people, places, or things, we are always able to call
upon the LORD, who is always home for His children.

F-Family
Our perceptions of family differ according to our
background, beliefs, and nurturing, or lack of it.
The hardest thing, I've been told, about families is
that we have no choice as to the one we're born into.
We are who we are, have the family we have.
It is our final choices, after all, that determine what
our ending days will be like: who is in our lives or
not, and whether we'll have comfort, or even a
hint of understanding.

G- Greatness of courage, of dreams, of accepting
difficult things is what introduces us to the strong,

positive side of ourselves.
H- Hope
Hope is the flame that keeps us alive; keeps us
creating dreams - building towers in the sky.
Hope is what keeps us alive in spite of ourselves.
Without it life disappears.
I thank God for the hope within you,
however dim that flame may be.
I'm aware that it is hope that has kept you.
Don't let go! Don't let go no matter how
discouraged you may become. God has planned
your life and with you at all times, loving you more

sweetly, more fairly, more unconditionally than

any human ever could. I cannot explain this.
I just know it to be true.

I- Individual
Most people lives and sentences revolve around

themselves, while we had to teach ourselves to care
for the (i) that we are. It's been difficult for us to
recognize and understand that we're entitiled to the
same kindness, compassion, love, and patience that

we extend to others. You ARE important.
Remember that!

J- Justice
There isn't much around any more, or so it seems.
Life hasn't always been fair to you, nor have many you
loved and trusted. But when you think about this, you
can know you always went the extra mile for
other people. It will balance out in the end. I promise.
I know this to be true because God has, and

is still, setting straight the crooked paths of my life.

K-Keeping On

Keep on keeping on no matter how steep the hill.
The rewards are always greater than the trial just
experienced. Keeping on is a form of control.
Others may not recognize that but we know it
to be true.
You've perserved: climbed when you wanted to sit,
worked when you wanted to rest, lived when you
wanted to cease living. You may not be aware of it
but you ARE winning.

2010-03-23T14:18:00.000-07:00

I've been going through some of the many journals I've kept, some going back as far as 1954. While reading them I came across part of a letter I'd sent somebody. I'm posting it, hoping its contents may uplift somebody, encourage somebody, or comfort somebody.

FROM SILENCE- FROM SOLITUDE

1- My life is a barren desert, Lord; flood it with rivers of living water so it
will flourish as a garden.

2- Lord, you have changed my speech--softened my words,

   changed my heart--softened my touch,
   changed my mind--gentled my thoughts towards others,
   and changed me into sombody I can like.

3- Faith not exercised is where doubt comes from.

4 -Never look back to yesterday. It served its purpose: was only intended to be used once. If you must reflect upon it, reflect upon memories that are good, inspirational, taught you something, or helped somebody. If there are none, leave yesterday alone.

5--Reading is a wasted effort if what you learned is not applied to life.

6- Nobody can change your attitude; YOU are in control of that.

7- We think we know ourselves until we see our reflection in somebody else's eyes.

8- We always believe what we tell ourselves.

9-Friendship disappears when abused, leaving the fool to stand alone.

10- Put others before yourself; love is like that.

11- Thank you for your hand upon my shoulder, Lord,
       every day, and every night.

12- Perfection, aside from the LORD, is when heart and mind together,
      walk a straight line.

13- Unwavering faith can handle anything!

14- If you lack faith pray for trials; you'll soon learn to respect those
      who now possess what you hunger for.

15-Success comes when we recognize how much we yet have to learn-
    then learn it.

16- Allow your children laughter; there is enough sadness in
      their tomorrows.

17- It isn't easy to forgive. If you are struggling with this today, just
       say the words and ask God to help you mean what you say.

HAVE AN AWESOME DAY. REMEMBER, LIFE IS SHORT, SO CREATE A BEAUTIFUL MEMORY
TODAY.

REGARDING SUFFERING

2010-03-16T14:30:00.000-07:00

I was requested to reprint an entry I did in 2001. The entry was a reply to a friend wanting my opinion about suffering. The following is that entry.

MY REPLY REGARDING SUFFERING

If I get requests to write about something, it's almost always on suffering. When I respond to these letters I point out that my viewpoint is based upon two things: 1-the way I interpret what I've read, and 2- my life experiences with suffering.
   "Why do I suffer when I love the Lord, and try hard to do the right things"
That's a question I get asked a lot, and always, my immediate answer is
"Why not? Why should we not suffer? "Because I'm a Christian and trust in God" is the usual reply.
   I suppose I should have asked, " How could we not?" as well. How could we not suffer if we share a planet where so many don't believe in, or love God? We've all heard the expression "we reap what we sow," which is true. But let's not forget that not only do we reap what we sow, but reap what others sow as well.
   If we do a good deed others are blessed. But if we do something bad, others reap the pain of that bad deed.
   When I ask why shouldn't we suffer, I am, I suppose, asking, are we better than Christ? He didn't sow evil, yet suffered because of the evil others sowed - and so shall we.
   We're not entitled to comfort simply because we wish to possess it. And how unrealistic to think we can rid ourselves of suffering and stress simply by wishing for it, without first seeing to understand and recognize that quite often, our darkest moments contain the greatest blessings.
   Those things that soften our hearts and enable us to think in ways that
enrich our lives are not upon us when we enter this world. The world is a
harsh taskmaster, demanding perservence, courage, patience, humility,
wisdom, faith, loyalty, compassion, and understanding. Those things are acquired through suffering: how could this not be so?
    We cannot even give definition to these words until we've first experienced them, and when we have, we're ready to come to the aid of others.
Suffering, even in the smallest of ways is a blessing, in that it enables us to appreciate the Lord in a much more personal, deeper way. Good people do experience harships, but the hardship eventually come to an end. This is true of bad people as well. To all that has a beginning - there is an end. Our life, here on earth, is temporary.
     Most Christians view life as a school of learning, and most seem to agree that only by experience does understanding grow.
    The Scriptures say " all things work together for good..." I interpret that verse as meaing that everything will come out right in the end. But I understand too, that the {ALL} in that verse includes the bad: the low points in our lives, the disappointments, the heartaches and sorrows; the things that rob us our of our dreams and lay our hearts low, upon the ground.
   I doubt any man would wish pain upon himself, but pain is something we all share. I strive to reach that place of Holy Indifference, as I believe Paul did. Of what is suffering to me? It may flood my eyes with tears, might steal away those who claimed to love me, might throw betrayal in my face, might leave me hungry, restless upon my bed at night because of pain, might prevent sleep from finding me or throw worry darts at me, trying to fill me with dread, but it cannot remove from my heart and mind the knowledge, the awesome presence of Christr within me. Suffering of itself cannot touch that part of me that is GOD's. If I live- I am the Lord's, and if I die, I am yet His. Either way I win.

ODDS & ENDS

2010-03-12T13:42:00.000-08:00

Good morning,

Not all of you have been truckers, like my Johnny and I were, but I bet most of you love traveling, would love nothing better than to pack a couple of suitcases, a cooler, pull out a little extra cash then hit the road; not having a particular destination in mind.
Every time I look at the above picture I recall the first time I saw a Redwood tree, (a real tree, is the way I thought of it then). I grew up in small towns that were surrounded by sagebrush, cactus, and sometimes wildflowers - and this odd kind of tree (can't recall the name of it now), but it had an odd smell, always made me sneeze.
   I told my Mother I wanted to some day see the rest of where I lived. Thinking I meant California, she said it wouldn't take that long; California wasn't as big as some of the other states. I hadn't meant Calif., I'd meant that I wanted to see all of United States, every state. I thought of the other states as home too, so when my husband and I got the opportunity to go trucking, it was a dream come true.

I had no idea I'd experience so many different languages and accents, food and dress, different kinds of weather (from one extreme to the other). And the people? Awesome! Everybody we met was so warm and open, so friendly and helpful. It was such fun to run into other truckers and their families from time-to-time; to sometimes have dinner together, or just a quick cup of coffee, while drivers swapped stories, each one trying to outdo the other.

Our country is made up of so many beautiful things: sunsets, diamond filled skies, forests, mountains, oceans, and flowers of every color, each one permeating the air with it's own unique fragrance. The deserts are dry and dead looking midst the noon day sun, but come nightfall, the view can bring a man to his knees.

It's amazing what nature can teach us, or a photo, and our world is one huge photo, isn't it? Everything we look at can teach us something, if we're willing to learn and listen.
   The photo in todays entry is quieting, soothing, reminds me to not keep my comfort zone too small, to stretch it? Why? Because limiting myself causes me to miss out on some of life's best experiences.
Life is meant to be  lived! We are to be participants, not just observers.
Without jumping into it with both feet, without daring to try new things, we'll just exist; will do nothing more than what we did yesterday, and the day before that. Routines are good; but for life to be balanced we need variety.
   A little variety goes a long way. It lessens depression, keeps us from being bored, and if we've added exercise to our "To Do " list, it lowers blood pressure, and stress levels. We'll sleep better, feel better, and if we 'stick with it', perhaps we'll even rediscover what it means to have fun.

Life is difficult these days, it's true. But we can't allow the difficult moments to overshadow today's blessings. We have to remind ourselves that the kind of day we're going to have  depends upon the choices we make, or don't make; upon the things we've been telling ourselves, positive or negative; and how much courage we have.
       The better our choices, the better the day goes. And the more courageous we are, the quicker we discover that we're much stronger than we believe ourselves to be.
    Each trial we go through is one somebody else has already
experienced. It's not as if we're alone. The One who created us is as near as our breath: ready to uplift, strengthen, assist, guide, forgive, and sustain. He was there yesterday, is here today, and will be here tomorrow, so keep singing, whistling, and making love. Keep playing with your children, and enjoy your spouse: do something together. Do something for somebody in need too, somebody who wouldn't expect it.

HAVE AN AWESOME DAY.

2010-02-28T14:43:00.000-08:00

It isn't easy, as our tears fall, to believe something good will come out of our sorrow, is it? Harder yet, to imagine rainbows and clear skies returning. But they do, and always will. It's difficult to believe that though, when our sorrow is dark and deep, so painful we have no words to describe it; difficult to believe, when at the moment, we're struggling to remain strong, doing all we can to prevent that first tear from falling, doing all we can to keep from letting anybody know we hurt so much.
   Life is a roller coaster, oftentimes buckling us into the passengers seat without bothering to ask if we even want to take a ride. Life's road is difficult. We can go to sleep believing everything is fine; family is good, life is perfect, only to wake the next day to find out we're losing everything. It is happening to millions of people every day. Millions of people each day, are waking up sorrowful, doing their best to be strong, struggling so hard not to cry.
     For some reason, each of us struggles so hard to be brave; to put on that happy smile, adjust that happy attitude, fight our best to shove the burden down, to not cry. Why do we make things so hard for ourselves?     I've had male friends tell me they can't allow themselves to cry, because if they did, their loved ones would see them as weak. I've had others say they fear crying, are afraid once they start they'll be unable to stop.
   I view crying as a necessary thing, a healthy thing, the other side of JOY.
You cannot experience one without having experienced the other. We would not appreciate joy without having first tasted sorrow. They are sisters in life, joy and sorrow. One puts such agony upon your spirit that tears flow, whether or not you wish them too. The other so fills your spirit with happiness that again, the tears flow.

Where are you today? I'd like to share a few of my favorite lines from one of my favorite authors. From his book "The Prophet""When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is
only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrorful look again in your heart, and you shall see that
in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight."
-KAHLIL GIBRAN

I pray your day is a good one. Remember that the world runs on opposites. When we remember this, our low, depressing, sad, or blue days, are much more easy to handle.

God Bless you.

BARB

2010-02-15T12:32:00.000-08:00

I just love this photo. It makes my heart smile, reminds me of little it takes to
be content, to fill one's heart with pleasure. I never see a picture of colorful
bubbles without thinking of my Mom. She taught me something that truly
changed my life; enabled me to see the best in everything, enabled me too,
to make even chores seem pleasant.

When I was a young girl, around nine or ten (not sure which), I was told to wash dinner dishes. I hated washing dishes. Of all I might be asked to do, dishes was the chore I hated most. So I dragged my feet, found one excuse after another as to why they were not done.
   Mom, after telling me for the fifth or sixth time to "get it done,"asked why I hated doing them so much. I recall shrugging my shoulders - saying |
"I don't know."
  "Let me show you something," she said. She took a glass, filled it with dishwater, put her hand on top of the glass and shook it. Then, moving her hand back just a little, she let all the water drain out of the glass, then held it up to the light. "Now look." she said.
   The once dirty glass now shimmered with colorful bubbles inside. She
handed the glass back to me, and said, but not angrily, "Now get these dishes
done, okay?"
I got them done, but let me tell you it took me a long time. I had such fun
washing those dishes, mostly because I kept filling a glass with bubbles in-between washing everthing else. I never minded doing dishes after that. I
always found myself looking for ways to make my other chores more enjoyable.

Mom believed in me when others didn't. We all need to have that, the
knowledge that somebody believes in us. I pray we can begin within our homes,
with our children and spouses.
     I would like to encourage you too, to believe in yourselves; to not forget that you are more stronger than you believe yourselves to be. If you doubt that, take a backward look at your life, at how far you have come- at all you have accomplished, all you have overcome.

Here is something I read that I took to heart and it serves me well. If
If you apply it to your lives, I believe it will serve you well too.

"Get still; tell your heart the Truth;
act on it; leave the results quietly to God."
Have an awesome day.
Love you much.

Barb

2010-01-31T12:19:00.000-08:00

See the hammock? Can you imagine yourself in this spot, in the hammock, eyes closed, the breath of a breeze kissing your skin -its touch soft as a butterfly? I can, and often do. Imagination is a magical thing, is able to take us anywhere we wish to go, whether that be Paris, Jerusalem, Greece, Mexico, or New York. It can also enable us to cope better, helps us to wind down after a stressful day.
    Some people have told me (when I was younger), that I needed to grow up, needed to put away childish things, to stop daydreaming so much. It used to make me very sad, made me feel as if they were asking me to stop being myself- and in a sense they were.
   Children's imaginations help them cope with difficult things, enables them to learn how to put themselves in another person's shoes, helps them stretch their comfort zone, develop creativity, and in my case, it allowed me to distract myself from painful experiences. When hurting, I'd imagine how it would be later on, when everything had settled, when the adults had settled their differences. It got me through the sad and difficult moments.
It still does.

Sometimes, when my children were younger, they would ask me questions or tell me things that made me smile, reminded me of myself at their age. For instance: my daughter had a difficult time learning to eat veggies. One day, at the dinner table she was pushing them around her plate with her fork, making the most horrible faces. "I don't know how these little green trees can be good for me when they taste so bad."
   Her younger brother laughed- told her, "Pretend they're Christmas trees then."
   Another time she asked if Jesus liked Spaghetti. "He might," I said.
   "Good, was her response. I'm going to save some of mine for him."

I didn't spend much time with my father growing up, so treasured the times I had him to myself. One day he took me with him, can't remember where we were going. What I do remember is the conversation.
   We passed under a bridge. I asked, "Dad, how many boxes of oleo could you stack from the ground to top of bridge?
     "Not sure. Quite a lot, I imagine."
     "One hundred?
      "Maybe."
      "More?
      "Don't know?
      "Less than?"
      "Not sure."
      "well guess."
         He changed the subject. I asked then, how far the stars were, what made them shine so bright, asked how did the man who made our car know how to do that; asked where rubber came from, how old would he grow up to be? I asked who invented paint and how come the water we drink is a different color than ocean water. After awhile he began to get frustrated. He didn't get mad, just sighed and said," Doesn't your mind ever shut down?"
I guess it doesn't. A car passes our house and I wonder where the people in it are going, if they are happy, sad, if they believe in God or not. I go to the store, and while shopping, notice everything and everybody; wonder if the lady in front of me knows what a good example she is being for her child, by being so patient and kind to a rude checker. I go to the park, and see a couple sitting quietly on a bence nearby; notice the way the lady is sitting, head down, kind of hugging herself, gently rocking back and forth; notice the way the man next to her is patting her shoulder, but not looking at her. He is staring into the distance, a sad look upon his face. I find myself imagining the worst of things going on in their life, find myself grateful, though I'm not sure why, that it is not me on that bench,
     Imagination is a wonderful thing. With but a little imagination we can often find solutions to problems, come up with a new and different approach, perhaps the one that will WORK this time.

Keep on dreaming. Don't ever give up on your dream. Some of the most beautiful, wonderful, delightful things in the world began with that first step. We don't come into the world knowing it all, but are capable of learning many things.

I woke to sunshine this morning, no wind, no snow, no rain. I hope, whereever you are you woke to something that lifted your spirits too; if not the sun, then perhaps knowing how loved you are, that your daily needs are always met, that you have a best friend, and a brand new day offering you a DO OVER. Gotta love that!
    I have a lot to do today so am going to sign off now.
    REMEMBER: Life is short. Create a beaiutiful memory today.
    Love you much.

Keep On Keeping On

2010-01-28T13:03:00.000-08:00

No two ways about it, life is HARD. And I think sometimes we make it even more difficult without realizing it. How? For two reasons (at least two that I

now recognize). The first is forgetting that the world runs on opposites: a child is born- another child dies; a man finally gets the job he needs - another man loses the job he's had for twenty-five years; a couple is getting married
while another is getting a divorce; somebody is cured of cancer- another person isn't; one child becomes a success - another winds up in prison; today, a storm rages today - tomorrow the sun is warming our bones. Viewing life realistically, remembering how truly unpredictable it is, enables us to not be caught off guard so much. It teaches us to embrace the better, sunnier, brighter, more joyous moments, to appreciate them more.

The second way we make life more difficult, in my opinion, is by making our trials, hurts, sorrows and disappointments our point of focus. A man cannot look at both sides of a coin at the same time. Neither can he be both happy and sad at the same time; he's either one or the other. We forget, I think, that we DO have control over how we feel. This is not to make light of depression (I've
struggled with it my entire life). I'm just trying to encourage those of you who may be experiencing stormy weather right now, as I am.

Like many of you, I got up this morning with the same set of trials I went to

bed with. But this morning I determined that they were not going to pull me under. I reminded myself that yesterday is gone, and just because things didn't work out then doesn't mean they won't now. Sometimes, we just have to accept that we were wrong about something, and move on.

Each new day offers opportunites to do things differently, to improve ourselves, to learn more. I've often reminded you that "IT WON'T ALWAYS RAIN."

And I have also said "A new day= a new way."

We need to try to remember that; to not forget that yesterday, with all it's pain, fears, worries, disappointments, mistakes and sorrows is gone, is behind us now.

Each new day is a brand new gift box, filled with blessings, both large and small.

They are there, I promise. But sometimes, especially when life is hard, it takes us longer to recognize them.

                           Todays Food For Thought

          1-Listen to the what you say- and the tone used when you say it/

          2- We believe what we tell ourselves.

          3- Think before speaking- or doing.

        4- You may feel alone sometimes, lost even, but in truth, you never are,
             because God keeps track of His children.

         5-If forgiveness seems impossible, just say the words
            and ask God to help you mean what you say.

        6-Our lives are what they are because of choices we made,
           or didn't make.

WE SEE WHAT WE LOVE

2009-10-15T14:44:00.000-07:00

I've been asked to repost this entry (it was written in 2008)

I heard a man say "We see what we love." We do! We really
do! We're not drawn to things that repel us, upset us, or drive
us crazy, but to things that make us smile, laugh, and feel good
inside; things that allow us to experience to the utmost,
our sense of touch, sight, smell, hearing, and taste.

Many years ago, a friend said to me," Barb, my scale says
I weigh 172, but I feel so much heavier."
His voice, when he spoke, was heavy with sadness,

his eyes teary. I thought again about the man who said
"we see what we love." He said also "We ought to follow what
we love and do away with things that don't add quality to
our lives like: anger, fear, sadness and those anxious
feelings that rob us of JOY.

What we find ourselves loving says a lot about the kind
of people we are, and teaches us things too
(about God, others, life, nature and ourselves).

I wish I could remember all that the man, speaking
about love said, but I can't. But it doesn't matter,

because the things that I've remembered are things
I needed to hear and learn from.

One of the things I do remember him saying is
"What we tend too will grow."
Six small words, but words that can change the quality
of our lives if we allow them too. I need to allow
them too, and perhaps you do too. Maybe we need
to give ourselves permission to follow our own dreams,
rather than walk in another mans footsteps.

When we live life according to what God says love is, we
soon discover how much we've missed out on. We lived
life according to how we've been raised, according to what
others have taught us, according too what others tell us is
the right thing to do. But every man is accountable for
himself, for what he says- for what he does.

Kindly overlook this entry if it makes no sense to you.
I'm writing it for myself. I've backed myself into a corner, and
this is my way of finding the right, appropriate, best, easiest,
and most fair exit. Sorting out my thoughts always gets me
back on track.
So continuing....

The Bible tells us our days are numbered, so what then, must
I do, if I wish to live out the rest of my life in a good, positive,
helpful way?

I think the answer would be: Realizing how short life truly is

I'd be wise to use my time well: to not forget how important
every conversation, every embrace, every kiss, every action,
and every opportunity is.
I'd put to use all that I've learned.
It would make me a better listener; more kind,
more patient, more compassionate, more gentle, more
tolerent. It would enable me to brighten my corner of
the world.

The best things in life are simple things; things that cost us
nothing, things we too often take for granted. Appreciating
the little things in life: sharing meals together, playing
together, gardening, painting, hiking, chatting with friends,
reading a favorite book, enjoying our hobbies, makes us more
pleasant to be around.

NOW- NOT TOMORROW, is the time to contemplate
the legacy we wish to leave behind.
NOW-NOT TOMORROW, is the time to stand up and
be counted, even if that means disappointing people we
love -people who love us.

People remember the good done to them, as well as the bad.
When I look into the mirror at the end of the day, and ask
myself " Have you done your best?"
I want the answer to be yes.

***********************************************

Hope you had an awesome day.
love you much,
BARB

Good Morning

2009-10-09T14:17:00.000-07:00

Hope your morning started as wonderfully as mine did. It wasn't sunny, and I didn't win the lottery. But I woke, for some reason, greatly appreciating my life and all it contains. Whenever I experience this, which is quite often, I find myself taking a memory walk, wanting to reconnect with  people who inspired me, encouraged me, lifted my spirits, taught me something, or made me feel loved and special
(people whose belief in me enabled me to believe in myself).
     I shared Gingerbread and hot chocolate with my Mother, my heart filling with admiration as she shared her life experiences, speaking softly, as always she did, about how love can go wrong, how important it is to remember that people are more important than things, and that doing our best is always good enough. Our last conversation left me with words that literally changed my life.
     "If you can be honest with yourself," she said, "about yourself, you'll find the quality of your relationships will improve. Why? Because when you look at another mans faults you're now able to see your own."
   She has been gone for many years now, but sometimes, like today, it's as though she never left.

The second person I visited on my walk was my father. As in all families, and within each relationship, not all is perfect. It was so with us. But I've never focused on the hurting memories. Better it is, I discovered long ago, to focus upon the good in life, as well as in people. This being so, I revisited Sequoia National Park; ate cold watermelon as I observed my father, who stood leaning against a Redwood tree, gazing upwards while sipping a beer, looking happier than I'd ever seen him.
   "Nothing could be better than this," he said, smiling at me.
   I've never forgotten that moment or the sights, sounds and smells of it. My father taught me many things (though not by example). The most important?
1- Never take life or people for granted.
2- Learn to control your emotions - don't allow them to control you.
3- Everybody deserves a second chance.

Next to visit was Tommy, the first love of my life . I rode his maroon bicycle again, danced with him, went horseback riding, and felt his strength when he held me for the last time. "It's okay, Princess." he whispered, while brushing away my tears. "Don't worry. I'll be back.   He didn't come back, but what I learned from him kept me strong, has helped me through many a storm. He was unique, had the heart of a poet, was so tall in my eyes. He taught me, by example, the true meaning of loyalty, friendship and integrity; taught me that I'm stronger than I believe myself to be, and able to do whatever I set my mind too.
    I chatted with Pastor Joe, who introduced me to Jesus Christ, enabled me to experience somebody actually living what God says love is.
    I spoke with former friends, spent an hour sitting on an old tire swing, then revisited the treehouse Tommy built for me. "For when life's too heavy." he said.
Oh, but I loved that treehouse; spent so many hours there doing nothing but think about life: about how unfair it was, the way it put heaven in your hands only to snatch it from you when you least expected it, how hard it was to understand parents sometimes, and myself; how noisy the world was- how difficult to find a quiet place. I thought about the present day, wondered what tomorrow would bring(if it would leave my life as it was, or change it into something I would hate). Mostly, though, I would think about Tommy ( wishing, praying, hoping, as his dad did, that we'd be together always).

But life goes its own way, dragging us right along with it, whether we wish to go or not. And the years pass, each one confronting us with truths we weren't quite ready to face like: waking up one day, realizing that not only has youth left us, but we are no longer in the middle-age bracket either. It takes longer now, to do those things we once did so quickly. And we're not always comfortable with the stranger in the mirror, nor with our bodies, which far too often seem to betray us.
   But we are always going through some kind of transition, whether big or small.
And not all changes are bad. Like many of you I am facing difficult things: two sisters, both with serious health issues (diabetes complications and cancer), a daughter who is going to lose her home, a son whose marriage is failing, a sister with Parkinsons, whose husband's heart is bad, a brother -in-law whose heart is bad too, a son who has removed himself from family, and the list goes on.
   So many hurting people in the world, but even so...we are all blessed. Every one of us. As I so often say, Be brave, Have courage. Every trial comes to its own end. And remember that it isn't who we are, but WHOSE we are.

I wish you all good things: love, hope, joy, laughter and peace.
Talk to you soon.

Love you much.

THOUGHTS TO PONDER

2009-09-20T18:34:00.000-07:00

1- Friendship disappears when misused, leaving the fool to stand alone.

2- Put others before yourself. Love is like that.

3- Unwavering faith can handle anything.

4- If you're going to dream- dream BIG.
    To God, the word impossible does not exist.

5-The choice to live with, or without fear, is ours to make.

6- You may feel as if you're lost, but in truth, you are not.
    God always knows where we are.

7- It is the unbelieving heart that is in danger.

8- Love cannot enter if the door to the heart is closed.

9-There are no skies without occassional clouds,
   and life demands that we all, for a season, stand alone.

10- There are many who love me, but the Lord, being closest
      to my heart, caused me to be all that I am.

11- Setting high goals is a good thing,
    but we must recognize our limitations.

12- If you think you cannot- you never will.

13- If you love life and know truth, you will love others
     as you love yourself.

14- I called you, but you refused to answer.
      Poor child. Who will hear you when you're in need?

15 -A crisis reveals to the world, the heart of a man.

16- Saying "I'm sorry," not only reveals humbleness, but
     bigness of heart.

17- Speak gentle, kind, loving, uplifting things, or be still.

18- Visualize peace and it will soon find you.

19- Hope in tomorrow, God created it for a reason.

20- Success comes when we recognize how much we have yet
     to learn, then learn it.

Just Catching Up

2009-09-16T19:05:00.000-07:00

,
Hello Guys and Dolls

It's been too long, hasn't it? I have no doubt that it will take awhile for me to
catch up with all of you, but I'll do my best. I have missed you very much.

Sometimes, mostly at night, when the rest of the world was sleeping, I'd fix myself a hot cup of tea, settle down in the living room chair, and think of each one of you separately, remembering the first time our paths crossed, how delightful it was getting to know you, learning about your likes and dislikes, what made you smile, what angered you, what set your heart upon the ground, or made you feel like the most loved- the most special person in the world.
   I took many memory walks, reminding myself of your goodness, how quick you were to respond when I requested prayer, how loving, when my heart was broken - my spirit as well.

It wasn't easy, at first, to share so much of myself. But doing it taught me a wonderful thing,. that the tighter we cling to our pain, our sadness, our hurts, our, disappointments, and our fears, the harder it will be to turn loose of them. Wiser it is, to remind ourselves that the world runs on opposites: there is a birth - then a death, somebody gets hired- somebody loses a job, somebody gets married- somebody gets divorced, the sun rises -the sun sets, we have a good day- then a not so good one.
  But no matter what our day contains, whether good or bad, each day contains its blessing.The only way we'll miss it is if we're not watching for it.

I am grateful for today's breath of life, for the many who remember me in prayer, for this opportunity to meet new friends, and to share new experiences. I am grateful too, for the many trials of my life;without them I'd have learned nothing. I'd not have learned that I'm stronger than I believed myself to be, that what I see is not always the way it is, and that no matter how deep the pain or sorrow of the heart, a rainbow is always just around the corner.

I hope your day is a good one, that every one of you is surrounded by love and laughter. May you always know the warmth of God's love- always experience the
tightness of his embrace.

LIFE IS SHORT
CREATE A BEAUTIFUL MEMORY TODAY.

love you much,
Barb

This is the other email address I am currently using.
Barbpinion@q.com