WE SEE WHAT WE LOVE

I've been asked to repost this entry (it was written in 2008)

I heard a man say "We see what we love." We do! We really
do! We're not drawn to things that repel us,  upset us, or drive
us crazy, but to things that make us smile, laugh, and feel good
inside; things that allow us to experience to the utmost,
our sense of touch, sight, smell, hearing, and taste.

 Many years ago, a friend said to me," Barb, my scale says
I weigh 172, but I feel so much heavier."
His voice, when he spoke, was heavy with sadness,

his eyes teary. I thought again  about the man who said
"we see what we love." He said also "We ought to follow what
we love and do away with things that don't add quality to
our lives like: anger, fear, sadness and those anxious
feelings that rob us of JOY.

What we find ourselves loving says a lot about the kind
of people we are, and teaches us things too
(about God, others, life, nature and ourselves).

I wish I could remember all that the man, speaking
about love said, but I can't. But it doesn't matter,

because the things that I've remembered are things
I needed to hear and learn from.

One of the things I do remember him saying is
"What we tend too will grow."
Six small words, but words that can change the quality
of our lives if we allow them too. I need to allow
them too, and perhaps you do too. Maybe we need
to give ourselves permission to follow our own dreams,
rather than walk in another mans footsteps.

When we live life according to what God says love is, we
soon discover how much we've missed out on. We lived
life according to how we've been raised, according to what
others have taught us, according too what others tell us is
the right thing to do.  But every man is accountable for
himself, for what he says- for what he does.

Kindly overlook this entry if it makes no sense to you.
I'm writing it for myself. I've backed myself into a corner, and
this is my way of finding the right, appropriate, best, easiest,
and most fair exit. Sorting out my thoughts always gets me
back on track.
So continuing....

The Bible tells us our days are numbered, so what then, must
I do, if I wish to live out the rest of my life in a good, positive,
helpful way?

I think the answer would be: Realizing how short life truly is

 I'd be wise to use my time well: to not forget how important
every conversation, every embrace, every kiss, every action,
 and every opportunity is.
I'd put to use all that I've learned.
It would  make me a better listener; more kind,
more patient, more compassionate, more gentle, more
tolerent. It would enable me to brighten my corner of
the world.

The best things in life are simple things; things that cost us
nothing, things we too often take for granted. Appreciating
the little things in life: sharing meals together, playing
together, gardening, painting, hiking, chatting with friends,
reading a favorite book, enjoying our hobbies, makes us more
pleasant to be around.

NOW- NOT TOMORROW, is the time to contemplate
the legacy we wish to leave behind.
NOW-NOT TOMORROW, is the time to stand up and
be counted, even if that means disappointing people we
love -people who love us.

People remember the good done to them, as well as the bad.
When I look into the mirror at the end of the day, and ask
myself  " Have you done your best?"
I want the answer to be yes.

***********************************************

Hope you had an awesome day.
love you much,
BARB

 

Good Morning

Hope your morning started as wonderfully as mine did. It wasn't sunny, and I didn't win the lottery. But I woke, for some reason, greatly appreciating my life and all it contains. Whenever I experience this, which is quite often, I find myself taking a memory walk, wanting to reconnect with  people who inspired me, encouraged me, lifted my spirits, taught me something, or made me feel loved and special
(people whose belief in me enabled me to believe in myself).
     I shared Gingerbread and hot chocolate with my Mother, my heart filling with admiration as she shared her life experiences, speaking softly, as always she did, about how love can go wrong, how important it is to remember that people are more important than things, and that doing our best is always good enough. Our last conversation left me with words that literally changed my life.
     "If you can be honest with yourself," she said, "about yourself, you'll find the quality of your relationships will improve. Why? Because when you look at another mans faults you're now able to see your own."
   She has been gone for many years now, but sometimes, like today, it's as though she never left.

The second person I visited on my walk was my father. As in all families, and within each relationship, not all is perfect. It was so with us. But I've never focused on the hurting memories. Better it is, I discovered long ago, to focus upon the good in life, as well as in people. This being so, I revisited Sequoia National Park; ate cold watermelon as I observed my father, who stood leaning against a Redwood tree, gazing upwards while sipping a beer, looking happier than I'd ever seen him.
   "Nothing could be better than this," he said, smiling at me.
     I've never forgotten that moment or the sights, sounds and smells of it. My father taught me many things (though not by example). The  most important?
1- Never take life or people for granted.
2- Learn to control your emotions - don't allow them to control you.
3- Everybody deserves a second chance.

Next to visit was Tommy, the first love of my life . I rode his maroon bicycle again, danced with him, went horseback riding, and felt his strength when he held me for the last time. "It's okay, Princess." he whispered, while brushing away my tears. "Don't worry. I'll be back.   He didn't come back, but what I learned from him kept me strong, has helped me through many a storm. He was unique, had the heart of a poet, was so tall in my eyes. He taught me, by example, the true meaning of loyalty, friendship and  integrity; taught me that I'm stronger than I believe myself to be, and able to do whatever I set my mind too.
    I chatted with Pastor Joe, who introduced me to Jesus Christ, enabled me to experience somebody actually living what God says love is.
    I spoke with former friends, spent an hour  sitting on an old tire swing, then revisited the treehouse Tommy built for me. "For when life's too heavy." he said.
Oh, but I loved that treehouse; spent so many hours there doing nothing but think about life: about how unfair it was, the way it  put heaven in your hands only to snatch it from you when you least expected it, how hard it was to understand parents sometimes, and myself; how noisy the world was- how  difficult to find a quiet place. I thought about the present day, wondered  what tomorrow would bring(if it would leave my life as it was, or change it into something I would hate). Mostly, though, I would think about Tommy ( wishing, praying, hoping, as his dad did, that we'd be together always).
 
But life goes its own way, dragging us right along with it, whether we wish to go or not. And the years pass, each one confronting us with truths we weren't quite ready to face like:  waking up one day, realizing that not only has youth left us, but we are no longer in the middle-age bracket either. It takes longer now, to do those things we once did so quickly. And we're  not always comfortable with the stranger in the mirror, nor with our bodies, which far too often seem to betray us.
   But  we are always going through some kind of transition, whether big or small.
And not all changes are bad. Like many of you I am facing difficult things: two sisters, both with serious health issues (diabetes complications and cancer), a daughter who is going to lose her home, a son whose marriage is failing, a sister with Parkinsons, whose husband's heart is bad, a brother -in-law whose heart is bad too, a son who has removed himself from family, and the list goes on.
   So many hurting people in the world, but even so...we are all blessed. Every one of us. As I so often say, Be brave, Have courage. Every trial comes to its own end. And remember that it isn't who we are, but WHOSE we are.

I wish you all good things: love, hope, joy, laughter and peace.
Talk to you soon.

Love you much.