Gratitude

This morning, Lord, I need to thank you, rather than feel sorry for myself.
I want to thank you for today's breath of life, want to thank you for helping me make it through each day. It is so hard sometimes, to remain strong, to keep a smile on my face when my heart is breaking. I would not be able to do it were it not for You.
     Many has been the time, that my heart lay like a leaf upon the ground, a lifeless thing. But then you came,  and blessed me with the honor of your presence, and  allowed me to experience the warmth and tightness of your embrace. So now, no matter the trial, or how intense the pain, joy fills my heart. Whenever I feel trapped or overwhelmed, I have but to stretch my hands heavenward, and you take hold of them. You hold them tightly, and fill me with confidence, courage and renewed hope.

Bless my friends and family today, Lord.
Bless those who are today hurting so much; those who are fearful, sick, fighting addictions, struggling to keep their marriages together.
Bless, Lord, those in the armed forces, those confined to their beds,
the friendless, and those in prison.
Bless the children who are being abused,
the single mothers and fathers,
those who have no  home,
those who are suffering because of natural disasters,
those who are elderly, and are afraid,
those who love you, and those who don't.
Bless the leaders of our country, and those who are giving of
themselves in order to bless others.
Bless the caretakers, Lord, and those who are lost, desperately trying to find something, or somebody to believe in.

And forgive us, Gracious Father, as a nation, for shutting you out, for failing to give thanks for all you have done for us. Forgive us for failing to rightly
represent you.

 Forgive me, for allowing somebody else to be first in my heart, for too long. Forgive me for forgetting all you have taught me; how patient you have been, how kind, how merciful.
Forgive me for being slow to forgive, rather than quick; for being too quick to judge, for failing to always be honest about my own flaws of character.
  
I love you so much, far more than I could ever tell you. But you know. And knowing you do, makes me happy. Thank you for listening to my prayer and for answering it. I know you will, because you are faithful. I do ask these things in Jesus name. Amen.
  

Good Morning Guys & Dolls

 

I woke up this morning counting my blessings, which are many. The one thing I am most thankful for, at the moment, is that I have not forgotten to look for the blessings during my darkest, most painful moments. They are always there. But sometimes, when we are discouraged, weary, in a lot of pain or overwhelmed, we lose our bearings. It's hard to stay focused when we've lost a lot of sleep, hurt, or have more than one thing at a time to deal with.
   
What has helped me most, is remembering to start my morning with the Lord. I thank Him for the day's gift of life, then thank Him for being willing to listen to me, and give me answers. He always does.
       A dear friend asked me, not long ago, why I thought she had such a hard time with her faith."It's up, then down." she told me. "And you know I love the Lord and DO believe in Him."
     I thought about her question for awhile, then told her I felt that she was forgetting something. What she was forgetting is that she is no different than the precious people in the Bible. Every one of them, I told her, struggled with their faith at times. We are all strong, I said, but not always. We have faith, but at times it might  waver. The fact that it does, doesn't mean we no longer have faith. It just means that perhaps we've not kept it as active as we should have. Faith, when not put to use, is nothing but a five letter word. We've all been given a measure of faith. How large and strong a faith we have, will depend upon how active we keep it.
  
     If your day is going badly, if you are afraid, feeling insecure, worried about loved ones, are sick, lost, or wondering what to do about your situation, know you are in my prayers, every morning, every night.
     Sometimes it seems, I know, as if  nothing will ever get better. It seems like the harder you try, the worse things get. I know that feeling, have felt it many times. And it is painful. But when things are difficult, we have to keep on keeping on, always reminding ourselves that it won't always rain, that even if we cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel, it IS there, and one day we WILL be able to see it.
   
     We have to reach out to others, even if we may be shy about it, have never done it before. Trust me, there are people  who would reach out to you, if only they were made aware of your need.
     I want to take a minute here, to thank those of you who have taken time for me. You've taken time to comment on what I write, even though it may not be something you're particularly interested in. You've taken time to email me, just to say hello, and ask how I am doing. You've gone out of your way to make me know that I matter. For that I am, and will ever be, eternally grateful.
 

     As I always say, and have become even more aware of how true it is, since my husband is on hospice, life is but a wisp of smoke- here, then gone. I encourage  you to create a special memory today.

IF FOR A MOMENT

If I for a moment, could do what I would,
You'd know the freedom of flying.
So high above the world you would be,
Beyond the touch of human hands
And the disillusionment from reality,
That finds us all from time-to-time.

It would not be a withdrawal from life, but rather
An extension of its depths.
Only you, and I, and God, would understand.
Only you, and I, and God, would be content
With the gentle strength that lies beneath-
Only you, only me, only God.

So many gifts you've given willingly, and lovingly
To this family of three; So many repairs of the hearts
You've done- seeking nothing- accepting nothing.

Someday, when the world least expects it,
I will become successful. My words will move the
Hearts and minds of men - by God's grace.
When my day arrives--and it surely will,
You and I will stand in awe
Of what has been accomplished.
I could not rightfully claim full credit, for besides
God's mighty blessings and kindness shown,
You have forever remained supportive of all
I am now, and all I will one day become.

You shall have freedom one day,
From all the chains that bind you
Against your will,
Against your spirit,
Against what God would have you see,
Be, and possess.
I don't see you as earthbound
For you are a mighty warrior,
Possessing great endurance.
Hold on awhile longer.

Continue to believe in me
And in my dreams,
And then my success
Will become our success.
All that is mine will be yours
For the asking, because
You loved me, forgave me,
And accepted me for what I am.

Because you saw what I couldn't,
And were my eyes;
Felt what my heart could not feel
Because you were my heart,
Because you love those I love,
As they love you, and mostly
Because you deserve far more
Than life has given you.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

 The fact that my Johnny is on hospice drastically changes the way we will do things  this Thanksgiving. I miss being able to do things the way we once did, but am thankful, so very thankful, that my sweet husband, and best friend, is still with us.
    
I am thankful for today's breath of life, for the love and support of family and friends; for the food on our table, the roof over our heads, the heater that keeps us warm on cold days.
   
I  am thankful for God's night-lights, that let  me know He is always home, should I need Him; thankful too, that I have time alone, so that I can meditate, and better hear that which God may wish to teach me.

  
I am grateful to our troops, who sacrifice so much to keep us safe. Let us not forget to include them as we say grace. Let us not forget all that they do without, mostly their own families. They must get so lonely at times. Let us pray that soon, all of them will be home.

My wish for each of you is that the memories of this Thanksgiving, will be one that stands out among the rest.


Again, Happy Thanksgiving,
Love you much,

Barb


 

LOOKING FOWARD

Isn't it odd, the wonder of trials?  Expressed this way it does not seem to make sense, but to me it does. My worst, most painful trials revealed to me that I am much stronger than I believed myself to be. These particular trials helped me learn patience, strengthened my faith, renewed my courage, and drew me even closer to the Lord.
     I was thinking, only yesterday, of  how wondrous a thing faith is; that if kept in steady motion, every day, how much more content a man could be.We think, during the darkest moments of our lives, that nothing will ever be the same again; that nobody seems to care; that even if we get through this trial, another one will take its place.We think these things because that's what we tell ourselves, and what we tell ourselves, we believe.
     My husband being on hospice, is probably one of the most difficult things I've had to endure. It has turned our world upside down, blown such a hole in our comfort zone that for a while, we were scrambling for something to hold onto. We felt like leaves in a storm. It was horrible. Still is! The difference I think, is ACCEPTANCE. 
      When my Johnny first told me "The doctor says he's done all he can do honey. Hospice is next." I instantly went into denial. This couldn't be happening. Not to my Johnny, the love of my life- my best friend. I resisted it, unfortunately, for a week or so. And my resisting made it worse.  I didn't get back on track until I went to the Lord for help. He gave me  Bible verses that I've been leaning on ever since. These verses have removed every WHY question I've ever had- or that comes up.

 What are the Bible verses?  Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8

 (1) To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the
         heaven:
(2) A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up
       that which is planted;
(3) A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build
       up;
(4) A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
(5) A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to
        embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
(6) A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
(7) A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to
       speak;
(8) A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
These Bible verses  lightened my burden by explaining WHY the painful, sad, depressing, horrific things happen in life. They happen for a reason. They reminded me of something I'd forgotten; that life runs on opposites: A baby is born- a baby dies; a man gets a job- a man loses a job; a couple gets married- a couple divorces; a family buys a home- a family loses their home.
   Understanding how things work simplified my life.
   
Romans 8:28 says
    
" And we know that all things work together for good....."

Many of us know the above verse, but when a really heavy, painful, trial comes, we lose our footing. We're so focused on the pain, the sadness, the enormity of our situation, that we totally forget the one word in Romans 8:28, that makes the difference. The heart of the verse is the word ALL.
    This means, using myself for example, that even though I am overwhelmed at the trial I'm facing, feel intimidated by it, feel fearful at times, and uncertain, I can remind myself, during my devotions, or when hurting the most, that ALL things are working in my behalf; not just part. I don't have to understand it. I just have to believe what the scriptures say.  God has more than proven himself to us. We have no reason to doubt, no matter what happens.
     I wish to testify of God's greatness; of His mercy,His compassion and understanding. I wish to share my love for Him, my appreciation for the greatness of His heart, for His continued giving of HIS strength, so that I am able to bear all things.
    May all who read this post experience the warmth and depth of His love, the honor of His presence, and the tightness of His embrace.