Good Morning,

 Some people, though looking forward to the family getting together on Thanksgiving, still find themselves dreading it. Their memories of former Thanksgiving reunions are not very pleasant. "Something always goes wrong." says one." We've never made it through a holiday yet without an argument." says another. " I can relate to what they are saying.  It is disappointing to have worked so hard, wanting everything to be perfect, only to have everything go wrong. The day starts out beautifully, and then, in less than an hour, old unsettled issues are being brought up and people start arguing over religion,
politics, money, choices being made, or how children are being raised. Sometimes the arguments are really stupid, like over the way something was cooked.

I think things would go much better, more smoothly, if we didn't have such unrealistic expectations. To expect everything to go perfectly? That will never happen. Better it is to set some boundaries ahead of time, to let each person coming know what is expected. I'm for sending out a small notice a little ahead of time, just a simple one that says something like: This year I want our family to create some really special memories. Because this is my goal, I'm asking each of you (and include myself here too), to come expecting to have a great time, to come expecting to do nothing except enjoy one another and create some wonderful memories. There is only one rule to be followed, which is NO discussions on politics, religion, money, one's life style, or anything else we know will start an argument.

Boundaries are helpful things, not there to make things hard for somebody, but to make things easier for everybody. For most of my life I had no boundaries, which is why my life was so messed up- why I was so miserable for so many years. I was probably the most fearful, insecure, person on the planet at one time. My insecurities and fears- my low self-esteem caused me to people please for most of my life. I'd do anything, no matter how hard it was, or how miserable it made me, just to avoid an argument or displeasing somebody. It wasn't until I learned to say No once in awhile, and to stand  up for myself that my life changed. People aren't mind readers, which is a good reason for boundaries; they let people know exactly where you stand on things. I can't think of a time when this would be as helpful as during holiday time, when  our expectations are to high- to unrealistic.

Holidays, or I should say (just before the holidays) is a good time to send out a note like this to people who will be sharing the holidays with you. If I had sent this notice out many years ago, some of our holidays would have turned out differently, would have been much sweeter- the memories more precious.

I'm encouraging each of you to use this Thanksgiving  as a fresh start; to use it to set yourself on the course you know you ought to be on. I'm doing the same, am using Thanksgiving Day to began what I hope is one of the most eye-opening journeys of my life. I've always kept a Gratitude journal, written down the days blessings. But my goal is to write down two thousand blessings. The reason for this? Well, though I've always been thankful for what God has blessed me with, I have come to understand that because I focused only on the day's blessing, I missed some of the larger, more meaningful ones, those that could have helped me grow, could have helped me see the why behind some of my darkest, most painful trials.  When I hit the 2,ooo number I'll start over. By then I hope to have grown, to have reached a deeper, richer, more meaningful relationship with the Lord.

I love each of you so very much, am so grateful our paths crossed, grateful for all the love and support you've given me though the  years.I'm sorry I got so behind on my blogs, have missed keeping them up. It got tough though, losing so many loved ones in such a short period of time.

Be good to others, to yourselves as well. I hope you're all staying warm and toasty, that you're surrounded by people who love and appreciate you. Know that I do. Always.


 

Good Morning

1. 

I don't know what you see in your area, but me? I'm looking at a sunny world, that at the moment, still reveals the  beautiful hot pinks, yellows, brown and reds of autumn. Of course the trees are far to quickly shedding their leaves. The largest one, the most beautiful one, right outside my patio door is 
almost bare.

I felt a bit sad this morning, as I sipped my coffee while gazing out the patio door. The tree, that but a short time ago was so full, so luscious looking, has
but one lone leaf struggling to hold on. It reminded me of how tightly my Johnny clung to life, how hard he struggled to not let go. This lone leaf, for the past few days has  brought tears to my eyes; really pulled me down. 
   
We all get blue sometimes, feel really lost and melancholy. It's not fun, is it? Not a pleasant experience. Because it isn't, I made the choice to from now on,
not think of that one lone leaf, but upon the earlier days of my marriage, back
to the time we lived in Washington. It was autumn then too, just before the chill of winter arrived. Johnny and I were raking leaves, joking with each other as we so often did. I turned my back to grab hold of the leaf bag. Before I had a chance to turn around, Johnny picked me up; a second later we were both on the ground, rolling  over and over in the huge pile of leaves we'd been raking, Johnny, laughing hard at my reaction.


I am so grateful that God gave us the minds we have. Memories are such beautiful things, able to keep us strong, able to help us get back on track
when we've lost our way. Think about it. Why on earth would anybody choose to focus on what makes them sad when they have the option of smiling again, of being hopeful again? True, we have no guarantee that focusing on only the good in life, the SHINY moments will change things. Sometimes it doesn't. But one thing it does do is keep us from feeling sorry for ourselves. As well it keeps us from living in the past. Doing that causes us to miss the best of today.


** Change of subject :)
Words that I never forgot.

"DARE GREATLY- It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points
out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done
better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face 
is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms; the great
devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the 
end the triumph of high achievement; and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly; so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat."
                                                                                                     -Theodore Roosevelt

I hope all is going well in your corner of the world, well, as good as can be expected, considering all that is going on in the world these days. Life can feel
heavy, intimidating, and scary at times. We're, most of us, used to being in control. But sometimes we simply can't be. Accepting that ...believing it can really make life easier.
  
As holidays arrive people began to look forward to seeing loved ones they
have not seen in a long time. We say "This year will be different. Everybody is going to get along." Perhaps they will. But if not, it doesn't mean we have to toss in the towel, become discouraged and give up on each other. We just have to keep an open mind| and an open heart.
 Situations change when people change.
If something needs changing, Lord, let that change began with me.


I'm not feeling my best yet, but getting better. Thank you for the 

loving emails, notes, cards, phone calls...and the love.


love you much,


BARB

Good Morning,

Well I finally managed to get back on track. Actually, that's not quite correct. I still have a couple of blogs not updated. But what matters is that I am trying. This is the third one I updated this morning, which says quite a lot, considering how rough this past year and a half has been for me. My blog
Just For Today has been neglected for quite some time. I felt rather bad about it since this blog enabled me to navigate my way through some pretty rough waters.

Holidays have arrived? Already? :) They will be difficult without my sweet Johnny, but I will do okay. Life is good; to good to waste my time feeling sorry for myself, or worse, choosing to become a spectator in life rather than a participator.
Thanksgiving will be at my place with my son, his wife and their two

precious little girls.  We'll spend Christmas together too, which makes things a little easier.


I love the holidays, always have. Love the magic that seems to happen once they arrive. People's hearts turn home. Everybody's thoughts drift back to the good old days. People are more kind, more patient, more willing to help somebody else.

 You don't have to look at your calendar either, to notice a holiday has arrived. You're reminded when you go shopping. All the stores shelves are overstuffed with new gadgets, perfumes, toys, decorations (the type depending upon what holiday it is). Excitement is in the air- is everywhere. Just wish this magic would last longer- like forever.I hope today finds each of you doing well, surrounded by people who love you, who truly care about you and what makes you happy. I hope you have not forgotten how special and unique you are.  I'm hoping too, that if you're living where it is very cold -you stay warm and toasty, enjoy some hot chocolate with whipped cream or perhaps miniature marshmellows.

We're just entering our cold weather. Our beautiful trees, that were only a couple of weeks ago wearing dresses of hot pinks, yellows, gold and brown are  now almost completely bare.


I've had the wonderful privilege of seeing many deer outside my patio door

of late. They are so beautiful, so gentle, and seemingly not intimidated at all by my presence. They hear the sliding glass door open, raise their heads from feeding, look right at me for a long moment, then go back to eating. As long as I remain quiet they'll usually feed in the area for a half hour or more.


I miss Johnny so much during these times. While trucking, and knowing my love for the deer, he stopped at a deer farm once. It was an unexpected surprise, one greatly appreciated because giving me that surprise meant he had to drive farther that day.

Well, dear hearts, as you know my hands bother me quite a bit so must cut this short. Remember life is SHORT...so create a beautiful memory today. I have updated my Just For Today blog....finally. Please stop by if you have time and let you friends know about this blog. I had a great following once but you know how it goes, you make plans and LIFE HAPPENS. Here's the link:

http://barb-justfortoday.blogspot.com/




Thanks for the love,
Barb