It's been awhile since I have posted. Sorry about that. Mostly it is because I kind of got lost- just a little bit. Once I realized it, I created a plan to help me find my way back. I'm
not used to getting lost; haven't been for a lot of years now. It isn't something one chooses to do, just something that happens for a variety of reasons, some of them being:
the death of a loved one, financial difficulties, the loss of jobs, the loss of a home. There
is the grief over runaway children too- children on drugs, and of course serious health issues. The list is endless.


My getting lost didn't surprise me. Not really. I mean, how could it? When we have too
much on our plates it's hard to remain centered. The more trials there are- the heavier their weight- the more painful, the more likely it is that we'll lose our way. Life is hard!
Very hard!

Our sufferings, sorrows and trials  cannot be avoided. And though we will all experieince
them it's not something anybody looks forward too. Our burdens can feel so painful, so heavy that we feel isolated from God. Our faith falters, sometimes disappears for awhile, as if it never existed. Doubts follow suit, washing over us like the ocean against the shore.

We see our trials as a bad thing, either forgetting, or not realizing, that it is midst our darkest, most difficult moments that God is the  nearest- as close as our breath.
 
I used to believe that God allowed trials in my life in order to teach me something. I never began to grow spiritually until I understood that I had everything backwards.
God didn't use my trials to teach me something (though I usually learn something from them). What he wanted, was for me to recognize that I needed to unlearn something.
 He wanted me to understand that because I was going about something in the wrong
way, nothing in my life was going right. And until I truly understood that, he was unable to set the crooked paths of my life straight.

Now, every time  a new trial confronts me, I know to look for God in it,
rather than be intimidated by the trial. The more I do this- the larger, more
strong my faith becomes. Whatever your burden today, however heavy or painful, I encourage you to look for God in it. If you do, peace will return to its rightful place in your life.

Part of this post is from today's post in my Spiritual blog. I'd not planned on writing in this manner, not in this blog. But considering how things are in the world these days, and considering how hard life has become for us all, I thought sharing it to be a good thing.

I am praying that all of you are doing well, are happy and surrounded by the people who love you, believe in you, treasure you, and appreciate you. I hope you never forget how much you mean to me, and will always mean to me. Some of us don't comment much on blogs any more, but do it via email or Facebook. Things change,I know. But to be honest, I rather enjoy seeing comments, even if only a couple. It reminds me of former times, when J-Land existed, and each morning, and sometimes during the night, we'd visit one another- often till the wee hours of the morning.

Stay sweet. Be good to your hearts.  Keep them full of love, patience,

kindness, tolerance, faith, and always Hope.


Love you much,

I can't believe how long it has been since I have posted. So sorry about that.
 Do I have a reason for not  posting? Not really, just excuses mostly: too hot,
 too busy, too much on my plate, etc. The truth is, I just felt the need to be 
lazy for awhile; to do nothing except the things I've felt like doing, things I
 never did because of lack of money, or lack of time.
   Sometimes, it was simply that doing something for myself always made me
 feel bad, as if I was being selfish. I bet some of you felt like that at least
 once in your lifetime, usually when your kids were growing up. 
 I was a single Mom till I met my Johnny, so to spend money on myself,
well, it just wasn't something I felt I could do. Not really; not when a child's
 shoes just wore out, or when one of my kids needed something for school.

It took me a long time to get past that feeling guilty thing. It was well
worth the struggle.

This week I bought myself books I'd wanted to read, writing tablets, pens,
and checked out house plants. I so miss being able to work in the  yard. 
No matter where I lived I always had flower gardens. But now, with my
 pain level being so high, and the problems I have with my legs, 
and back- hands too, I have to settle for indoor plants, which is okay.
 They really brighten up a place.

Just checked the weather report. That bright light you saw wasn't lightning,
 but my smile, when I saw that temps were not going to be as high this week.
 102- 109 is just a bit too uncomfortable, especially when the humidity level
 is high too. We're actually supposed to have a few days in the high 80's. 
Sounds so good.

Imagination:

This word always makes me smile, always brings to mind memories of
 my children when they were small. As well, it reminds me of myself when 
I was a youngster. So many of the adults during those days, were always 
telling me "Stop acting like a kid. Grow up."
 I found this confusing, and it made me very sad. I was confused because I
 (was) a kid- only ten. How does a kid not act like a kid?  I was sad 
because their words made me feel like they were asking me to stop
being the person I was.
 
Imagination, even today, keeps me going; keeps me hopeful, content, 
eager to meet whatever challenges life may throw at me. My imagination 
has allowed me to travel all over the world,  allowed me to see myself in
 a better place, doing the very things people told me I'd never be able to do.

I love taking memory walks; always stop at the places that made me so
 happy, many of those places being the dinner table. My four children's
 minds were so active then. I loved the way they expressed themselves.

This morning I thought of conversations I'll never forget, like:
When my daughter was five and I had a hard time getting her to eat
 her vegetables. One night, she sat at the table pushing some broccoli
 around on her plate with her fork, while making the most horrible faces.
"I don't know how these trees can be good for me." she said. "when they
 taste so nasty."  Her younger brother laughed and said "Just pretend 
they are Christmas trees."
 Another time she asked if Jesus liked spaghetti.
"He might." I said.
"Good. Cause I'm going to save him some of mine."

Remembering this conversation reminded me of one I had with my dad,
 so many years ago. I never got to spend much time with him so jumped 
at the chance to go in the car with him one day. I don't remember where 
we were going, but never forgot the conversation, the reason being the 
way my mind worked.
  
 We'd just driven under an overpass.
 I asked. "Dad, how many boxes of oleo could you stack from 
the ground to the top of the bridge?"
   "Not sure. Quite a lot I guess."
   "One hundred?"
   "Maybe."
   "More?"
   "Don't know."
   "Less than that?"
   "Not sure."
  "Well guess."
     He changed the subject. His plan didn't work. I asked how far the stars 
were from our house, and what made them so bright. I asked how the 
man who made cars knew how to build one, how old would I grow up to be,
 and who invented paint? Who invented rubber?
I asked why the  water we drink is a different color than than ocean
water. After awhile he began to get frustrated. He didn't get mad, just
 sighed and said. "Doesn't your mind ever shut down?
 
  I'm smiling as I type this part because the answer is still the same.
 No! My mind never shuts down. I'm just as curious today as I was when
 I was a kid. A car passes our house and I wonder where it is going,
wonder about the people in it; if they are happy or sad, if they are related
 or just friends, if they believe in God or not.
 
Imagination is a wonderful thing. Today, my imagination is one of the
things that propels me forward, keeps depression at bay, as well as worries,
fears, etc.
It helps to visualize good, positive, wonderful things, pulls one down if
the mind is filled with negativeness. Life is hard today, harder than it has
ever been- and not just for me...but for you- for us all. That is why I do
my best to encourage my kids to hold tight to the sense of wonder, to
not get so focused on all that is wrong in the world. Focusing on just the dark
side of things, the painful, depressing side, does nothing but keep us from
experiencing those special shiny moments that are placed within our hands
each day.

Don't overlook them, dear hearts. And pray that I don't either. Being
grateful (keeping track of our blessings) enables us to be content, and
will enable us to enjoy life to the fullest.

I've got to get busy now, have chores waiting.
Don't forget how special, how unique you are.
Don't forget to take care of your hearts; keep them full
of sweetness, kindness, mercy, love, tolerance, patience,

and HOPE.




for always being in my corner, for your friendship, love and support.
love you much.