CHRISTMAS EVE

It's the night before Christmas, and I find myself thinking about the men and women in the armed forces, knowing their Christmas won't be like mine. Even as I enjoy our beautifully decorated tree, the quiet of the night, the joy of knowing  my husband is still with me, and that tomorrow, our son and grandchild will spend Christmas day with us, it's hard not to cry.  Sometimes I do. How could I not?
     Our troops, so far away from home, have no pillow beneath their heads, no warm shower, nobody to hug and kiss them or comfort them when they are weary and lonely, fearful and worried. They don't have a warm breakfast to start their day, don't get to enjoy something so simple as a cup of coffee, and have nothing much to look forward too, except more of what they just experienced the day before.
    These brave men and women are where they are because they love their country and want to keep it safe- want to keep all of us safe. I think sometimes we forget that the freedom we have came with a price, a very HIGH price. 
   We need to stop taking what we have for granted; need to truly appreciate all that we have. We are so blessed, so rich, yet in the ways that count- sometimes very poor.
   Please, as you celebrate Christmas, do it with our troops in mind. And then, as the New Year begins, consider making a commitment to pray for our troops every day; and not pray only, but do something for them.

Type  Support Our Troops in your toolbar and a page will come up giving you all kinds of ways to help.

I'd like to wish every one of you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year too.
Remember that the new year gives us another opportunity not only do better, but to be better too. I love do-overs. Don't you?

A SIMPLE GIFT

I'd been sitting at the computer for several hours, updating journals and answering mail, when I got an email from a friend. She asked me to pray for a little boy who has cancer." He's just five years old." she wrote," and his Grandmother is very worried about him."
    I wrote her back, asking  her to send me the Grandmother's email address. As soon as I received it, I wrote the grandmother, asking her to tell me about her grandson. The letter she wrote me was long, and quite sad. Her love for her grandson was so great, that the very thought of losing him was making her ill. "I can't sleep," she wrote, "and can't keep food down much either. I cry all the time. My precious Marco (her grandson) is my heart. He has been in and out of the hospital, Barb, since he was three and a half. The cancer went away, but came back again, six months ago. The chemo is not helping much. He is wasting away, is but skin and bones. "
    I asked about Marco's parents. She wrote "His father cries almost as much as I do. His mother is like a zombie, just walks around the house, doing things that need to be done, then sits down and stares into space.
   And Marco's little brother, who is three, keeps begging to see Marco. But Marco won't see him. He gets hysterical if asked to see his brother. He says "I'm ugly now, with no hair. I don't want my brother to see me." so the parents don't make him. They try to keep him calm as they can.
Barb, this is so hard. What will I do if my sweet Marco dies?  I don't know what to do to help him. He looks like a little old man; never smiles any more, doesn't talk much, just gets more depressed."
    Sleep became rather elusive, once I began writing Marco's grandmother. I kept thinking of this small child, so loved, who was dying a little every day. I prayed about it; asked God to bless Marco and his family, and to help me find a way to lift their spirits. He did.
    I  bought two big bottles of Bubbles, 1 smaller bottle of Bubbles, and six fancy Bubble wands. I also purchased a miniature Bambi (stuffed animal).
    Angels must have delivered Marco's present, because it seemed I barely sent it, when I got a thank you letter from his Grandmother.
   She said, "Dear Barb. I can't thank you enough. I wish you could have been here when my sweet Marco opened the gift you sent. He is very weak, and the medicine he's taking makes him  very sleepy at times too, so when he got the present unwrapped, it took him a few minutes to realize what he was looking at. He was too weak to open the bottle of bubbles, so I did. I dipped a wand into the bottle, then waved it back and forth. Bubbles were everywhere, BIG ones as well as little ones. Marco's smile, Barb, lit up the room. He said,"Let me try, Grandma." I held the bottle, while he dipped the wand. When he waved it back and forth and saw the bubbles, he laughed, Barb...for the first time in many months. And not only that, he said, "Go get Anthony (his little brother)
so he can blow bubbles too. And the sweet Bambi, Barb, he plays with it all day, and at night, when he goes to sleep, he places Bambi on his pillow. "

A small gift, bubbles, but what huge blessings came out of that gift.
Marco's grandmother tells me that Marco never runs out of Bubbles. It has become his favorite thing. This happened three years ago. Marco is now eight, has thick, curly hair and runs and plays like any other eight-year old boy.
    And Bubbles? I keep many bottles on hand. I take some with me and hand them out to kids, to people sitting alone on a bench, to family members, to neighbors, to anybody who crosses my path. Sometimes I sit on our patio, and blow bubbles. Try it, silly as it sounds. You just might be surprised. The simplest of things often are the easiest and cheapest way, to help another smile again. 

First Impressions

People matter to me so I go out of my way to understand them; to learn what makes them happy, angry, sad, disappointed, hopeful, depressed, or fearful. I try to learn what makes them feel good about themselves, hate themselves, get to the point that they want to give up. I like to know why some people are so successful, while others struggle just to make ends meet; like to know why some individuals have dreams and set goals, while others set no goals, don't even have a dream.
  
What I know about people, including myself, is that their inside seldom matches their outside. It is wise to look behind angry words. An angry person is usually a hurting person. A smile doesn't always mean a person is happy, tears don't always mean a person is sad.
     People who don't cry are sometimes seen as too emotional. But quite often it's simply their way of keeping strong. It happens sometimes, that if you've cried openly, shared that deep sorrow, and got put down for it, were criticized and ridiculed, you no longer cry; or if you do, it is when you are alone. As well, many hurting people are afraid to let themselves cry; believing that once they start they might not be able to stop.
  
We all influence somebody at some point in our lives, but may not realize it. And, on the other side of the coin- we are influenced by another person's confidence, their strong faith, their talent, perhaps just their ability to express themselves. We're influenced by those who climbed to the top, when others failed to believe they'd be able too.
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People wear masks; pretending to be happy, when they aren't, pretending to be alright, when inside, they are falling apart. They pretend to be satisfied with their looks, but in reality hate themselves, always wishing they were different.

People pretend to be strong because others tell keep telling them how strong they are. It never occurred to them to just be honest and say."Look, I"m not feeling strong today." They may be feeling  afraid, insecure, lost and misplaced, or worse, losing the desire to live. Many people would find it difficult to say, "Could you stay with me for a little while, or call me? I'm really struggling today, could use some help."

People have become cautious, find it difficult to trust any more. Our world has become a dangerous place, is filled with violence, and threats of violence. People,  being fearful,  withdraw, too many, making a fortress out of their home. They are too fearful to venture out. Their comfort zones have shrunk. Where once it covered a huge amount of space- it now covers  home, to the store, to a relatives house, a doctor maybe, and to church. Some people are afraid to even enjoy their front yards. It is wise to be cautious, but a mistake, I believe, to let those who are evil have such control over lives. Bad things happen to good people too.

 Shared this because it is the holiday season; a time for sharing our love, our friendship, as well as food, and perhaps shelter for somebody. So many people, even in our own neighborhoods, could use some support, an invitation to a meal, a home visit, an unexpected email, a letter of encouragement. We all have something to share. I hope this day finds each of you doing well, in reasonably good health, in touch with family and friends, and remembering how unique- how special you are.

Have an awesome day. And don't forget that life is short, so create a beautiful memory.

 

Gratitude

This morning, Lord, I need to thank you, rather than feel sorry for myself.
I want to thank you for today's breath of life, want to thank you for helping me make it through each day. It is so hard sometimes, to remain strong, to keep a smile on my face when my heart is breaking. I would not be able to do it were it not for You.
     Many has been the time, that my heart lay like a leaf upon the ground, a lifeless thing. But then you came,  and blessed me with the honor of your presence, and  allowed me to experience the warmth and tightness of your embrace. So now, no matter the trial, or how intense the pain, joy fills my heart. Whenever I feel trapped or overwhelmed, I have but to stretch my hands heavenward, and you take hold of them. You hold them tightly, and fill me with confidence, courage and renewed hope.

Bless my friends and family today, Lord.
Bless those who are today hurting so much; those who are fearful, sick, fighting addictions, struggling to keep their marriages together.
Bless, Lord, those in the armed forces, those confined to their beds,
the friendless, and those in prison.
Bless the children who are being abused,
the single mothers and fathers,
those who have no  home,
those who are suffering because of natural disasters,
those who are elderly, and are afraid,
those who love you, and those who don't.
Bless the leaders of our country, and those who are giving of
themselves in order to bless others.
Bless the caretakers, Lord, and those who are lost, desperately trying to find something, or somebody to believe in.

And forgive us, Gracious Father, as a nation, for shutting you out, for failing to give thanks for all you have done for us. Forgive us for failing to rightly
represent you.

 Forgive me, for allowing somebody else to be first in my heart, for too long. Forgive me for forgetting all you have taught me; how patient you have been, how kind, how merciful.
Forgive me for being slow to forgive, rather than quick; for being too quick to judge, for failing to always be honest about my own flaws of character.
  
I love you so much, far more than I could ever tell you. But you know. And knowing you do, makes me happy. Thank you for listening to my prayer and for answering it. I know you will, because you are faithful. I do ask these things in Jesus name. Amen.
  

Good Morning Guys & Dolls

 

I woke up this morning counting my blessings, which are many. The one thing I am most thankful for, at the moment, is that I have not forgotten to look for the blessings during my darkest, most painful moments. They are always there. But sometimes, when we are discouraged, weary, in a lot of pain or overwhelmed, we lose our bearings. It's hard to stay focused when we've lost a lot of sleep, hurt, or have more than one thing at a time to deal with.
   
What has helped me most, is remembering to start my morning with the Lord. I thank Him for the day's gift of life, then thank Him for being willing to listen to me, and give me answers. He always does.
       A dear friend asked me, not long ago, why I thought she had such a hard time with her faith."It's up, then down." she told me. "And you know I love the Lord and DO believe in Him."
     I thought about her question for awhile, then told her I felt that she was forgetting something. What she was forgetting is that she is no different than the precious people in the Bible. Every one of them, I told her, struggled with their faith at times. We are all strong, I said, but not always. We have faith, but at times it might  waver. The fact that it does, doesn't mean we no longer have faith. It just means that perhaps we've not kept it as active as we should have. Faith, when not put to use, is nothing but a five letter word. We've all been given a measure of faith. How large and strong a faith we have, will depend upon how active we keep it.
  
     If your day is going badly, if you are afraid, feeling insecure, worried about loved ones, are sick, lost, or wondering what to do about your situation, know you are in my prayers, every morning, every night.
     Sometimes it seems, I know, as if  nothing will ever get better. It seems like the harder you try, the worse things get. I know that feeling, have felt it many times. And it is painful. But when things are difficult, we have to keep on keeping on, always reminding ourselves that it won't always rain, that even if we cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel, it IS there, and one day we WILL be able to see it.
   
     We have to reach out to others, even if we may be shy about it, have never done it before. Trust me, there are people  who would reach out to you, if only they were made aware of your need.
     I want to take a minute here, to thank those of you who have taken time for me. You've taken time to comment on what I write, even though it may not be something you're particularly interested in. You've taken time to email me, just to say hello, and ask how I am doing. You've gone out of your way to make me know that I matter. For that I am, and will ever be, eternally grateful.
 

     As I always say, and have become even more aware of how true it is, since my husband is on hospice, life is but a wisp of smoke- here, then gone. I encourage  you to create a special memory today.

IF FOR A MOMENT

If I for a moment, could do what I would,
You'd know the freedom of flying.
So high above the world you would be,
Beyond the touch of human hands
And the disillusionment from reality,
That finds us all from time-to-time.

It would not be a withdrawal from life, but rather
An extension of its depths.
Only you, and I, and God, would understand.
Only you, and I, and God, would be content
With the gentle strength that lies beneath-
Only you, only me, only God.

So many gifts you've given willingly, and lovingly
To this family of three; So many repairs of the hearts
You've done- seeking nothing- accepting nothing.

Someday, when the world least expects it,
I will become successful. My words will move the
Hearts and minds of men - by God's grace.
When my day arrives--and it surely will,
You and I will stand in awe
Of what has been accomplished.
I could not rightfully claim full credit, for besides
God's mighty blessings and kindness shown,
You have forever remained supportive of all
I am now, and all I will one day become.

You shall have freedom one day,
From all the chains that bind you
Against your will,
Against your spirit,
Against what God would have you see,
Be, and possess.
I don't see you as earthbound
For you are a mighty warrior,
Possessing great endurance.
Hold on awhile longer.

Continue to believe in me
And in my dreams,
And then my success
Will become our success.
All that is mine will be yours
For the asking, because
You loved me, forgave me,
And accepted me for what I am.

Because you saw what I couldn't,
And were my eyes;
Felt what my heart could not feel
Because you were my heart,
Because you love those I love,
As they love you, and mostly
Because you deserve far more
Than life has given you.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

 The fact that my Johnny is on hospice drastically changes the way we will do things  this Thanksgiving. I miss being able to do things the way we once did, but am thankful, so very thankful, that my sweet husband, and best friend, is still with us.
    
I am thankful for today's breath of life, for the love and support of family and friends; for the food on our table, the roof over our heads, the heater that keeps us warm on cold days.
   
I  am thankful for God's night-lights, that let  me know He is always home, should I need Him; thankful too, that I have time alone, so that I can meditate, and better hear that which God may wish to teach me.

  
I am grateful to our troops, who sacrifice so much to keep us safe. Let us not forget to include them as we say grace. Let us not forget all that they do without, mostly their own families. They must get so lonely at times. Let us pray that soon, all of them will be home.

My wish for each of you is that the memories of this Thanksgiving, will be one that stands out among the rest.


Again, Happy Thanksgiving,
Love you much,

Barb