A Tribute To My Sister, Jacqueline

 It is a hard thing, hearing that your youngest sister died. When you died, honey, a part of me died too. The first image upon my mind when I heard the news, was not how you looked today, but how you looked when you were a little girl, pretty much like the little girls above. You were sitting at the side of our house, in a pretty pink dress, that was now all mud stained because you were making mud pies. Your talking blue eyes fairly danced as you held a pie out to me, wanting me to taste it. Your Shirley Temple dimples, deepened when you smiled and talked.
You were such a beautiful thing, like a little doll, almost. You didn't change much as you grew up, except you grew more beautiful, and not just on the outside. You married and had children. I married and had children too. Your marriage turned out to be a good one, my first one didn't.You were there for me whenever I needed you.

I miss you already, but am so grateful that I can take a million memory walks and visit with you any time I want too, and I will. I'll remember the time I spent a week with you, and while there discovered that I could write stories, so wrote a special one for Johnny's and my 16th Anniversary. It was so much fun typing out a few pages, then taking a coffee break and sharing them with you. You were so proud of me, so amazed that I could write such things, even more amazed than me, I think. |

I'll remember the two of us putting on a record, then each of us writing out whatever came to us while listening to the music.

I'll remember the word games we played, the hours we'd spend at your kitchen table, talking about everything from bugs to religion. I'll remember the kindness you bestowed upon me when Johnny accidentally tossed out the story I'd been writing on, the first one. I was so crushed that I was unable to write for a long time, didn't even want too. Then one day, you sent me a precious email that said, "Sis, about the lost book. Let it go, Barb. What you lost was words on paper, but the story is still in your head and upon your heart."
Those few words have helped me more times than I can say.

Jackie, you and I had our differences, as sisters sometimes do, but beneath it all we both knew that love was there- love and the desire to be united again. It hurts to lose you, but in all the ways that count I've not lost you at all. You'll remain in my heart and we will see each other again. The loss is so painful, honey, but I am so glad that you are no longer hurting, no longer sad or having to struggle to simply make it through another day.

I could have chosen a different picture for this entry, but as I said, the first

image that came to my mind upon hearing that you were no longer with us was the one of you as a little girl. Goodbye, sweetheart. I shall always love you, always miss you.