Spring cleaning! I wonder how many women look forward to this- how many hate it.
Me? I have always loved it. Oh, there are some parts of cleaning I don't care that much for, mostly the harder stuff that requires getting on your knees, or climbing ladders.
But as far as the rest goes, I love making dirty things shiny again, love rearranging rooms, trying new colors, decorating in new ways. I rent, don't own, so of course am
limited as to what I can do. But that doesn't keep me from getting it done. Sometimes, while relaxing, enjoying the quiet, I mentally redo my entire apartment. :) It's free.
Can't beat that.

I have a friend who told me he sometimes wished I'd share a little about myself. I did
this once, many years ago, but I guess he missed that post. Some of you may have missed it too. I thought, since today is kind of a fresh start on my life, I'd kind of
introduce myself.

I am a widow now, but was married for 38 and a half years. I have six wonderful children- 4 sons and 2 daughters. Many grandchildren, 0ver 33 at last count. Quite a blessing isn't it? 
  I grew up in mostly small towns. We moved around a lot, which is probably where I 
get my love for traveling. One of the greatest thrills of my life was when I got to go trucking for three and a half years.
    I have been a waitress, telephone solicitor, sold Amway, Avon, and Studio Girl Cosmetics. I also worked at Jack-in-the-Box, and managed several Storage facilities,
 and was an apartment manager too. When my children were small, I baby sat for extra money and took in ironing to help make ends meet. 
   
  I not only love solitude and silence, but crave it. I'd not be much fun to be around if I didn't have that quiet time. Being able to just sit and be enables me to stay focused on what truly matters; helps me keep my priorities straight.

I am slow to anger- quick to forgive.
I am harder on myself than on others.
I am sometimes too analytical.
I have a great sense of humor, love to make people laugh.
I'm spontaneous, though not overly impulsive.
I am loyal, honest, dependable and friendly- very approachable.
I can sometimes be moody.
I struggle at times with low self-image.


I love the outdoors, really miss being able to go horseback riding. I used to do a lot of 
it when younger. Getting older certainly changes a lot of things. Another thing I can no longer do because of arthritis is to play the guitar. I really miss that. I played it when happy, sad, tired, worried..just all the time. It was a great stress reducer.
 
Things I enjoy doing the most: Writing stores and songs, reading, music, cooking, working with flowers, collecting music boxes, making inspirational tapes for friends and family.
  When I think about my life I'm amazed at how much God has given me, how far He's walked alongside me. He helped me understand the power of choice, the value of
silence, and the miracles and solutions to be found in solitude.

An example of how Barb's mind works. Below is my description of a cup.

A CUP:

A cup is not only what it appears to be. It appears to be a container,
 created solely for the purpose of containing something,
 usually a beverage.
I look at a cup and notice its texture, color and shape, and whether
 it is empty or full. I see the cup as a
man's heart; it can contain good things- or all manner of bad.
  
A cup to me, represents life. Like the cup, my life is full
and complete one moment, empty and not quite
together the next.
Like man, a cup can exist for a long time
if handled well, or become cracked and ruined
due to rough handling.

I love cups. They remind me sometimes of those 
whose hands created them.
Those hands have never been seen by me. But I
 appreciate their efforts;
wonder about them every time I'm given a cup
 by somebody who loves me.

Some cups appear more beautiful than others, 
because beauty does not look the same to all men.
A cup may not be attractive to some people,
 but that doesn't matter. It serves its purpose.
 
A man or woman can seem to be quite unattractive.
 But like the cup, once the right connection
 is made, once another individual discovers 
this persons hidden beauty, the two will
 more likely than not, create their own 
morning, noon, or nightly ritual.

**************************************************************************************



 Well, dear ones, thanks for putting up with my nonsense.
My apologies for the way this post is lined up.
I am having serious computer problems
right now. Need new computer.

Take care of yourselves.
 I'll be catching up with your blogs now that
I'm back on track

Love you much.
Barb

A 2012 REPOST

Good Morning,

I've not been able to post for quite awhile due to problems with my hands. As well, it's taken me a bit longer than I thought it would to adjust to life without my Johnny. But I am doing well, moving forward, each day watching for the opportunity to do better.

I don't know about you, but when I hit a rough patch in life I have to pencil
in some additional quiet time; need to take time to check out my priorities,
to take a personal inventory of my life. One of the things that helps me the
most is reading through my blogs and personal journals.
Sometimes, while doing this, I stumble across something that helps 
me see where I messed up. While doing this yesterday I came across 
the post I'm sharing today. Reading it lifted my spirits again,
helped me recognize exactly where I am emotionally, mentally, physically,
and spiritually. It also reminded me of the wonder of music, how powerful
a thing it is, which is the main reason I'm reposting it.



Saturday, Aug. 11, 2012

What Song Do You Sing?

What is your song, your story? How have you named yourself? What word, when you say it aloud, rings true about this inner voice, in the deepest part of your heart?
When I whisper the word mother aloud I feel a sense of responsibility. When I say "child of an alcoholic" I feel lost and afraid, confused and very sad. When I say "friend" I feel caring, valued, sometimes overwhelmed. Every time I ask myself another question, I place myself on a different pathway in life, have a different set of lessons to learn- opportunities to give.
    Johnny's being on hospice has caused me to spend a lot of nights thinking about my life. I often find myself viewing it as a thousand piece jigsaw puzzle and get frustrated when pieces don't quite fit. This was how it was last night, after the sun began its journey to the other side of the world. I got Johnny settled down for the night and stood on our patio staring at God's nightlights. Then it was, that I recalled the beautiful story I am now going to share with you.

   There is a tribe in Africa where the birth date of a child is counted- not from when they're born, not from when they're conceived- but from the day that the child was a thought in the mother's mind.
   
And when a woman decides that she will have a child, she goes off and sits under a tree, by herself, and she listens until she can hear the song of the child that wants to come. And after she's heard the song of this child, she comes back to the man who will be the child's father and teaches him the song.  And then, when they make love to physically conceive the child, some of the time they sing the song of the child, as a way to invite the child to come.
  
And then, when the mother is pregnant, the mother teaches that child's song to the midwives and the old women of the village, so that when the child is born, the old woman and the people around her sing the child's song to welcome it. And then, as the child grows up, the other villagers are taught the child's song. If the child falls, or hurts its knee, someone picks the child up and sings it's song to it. Or perhaps if the child does something wonderful, or goes through the rites of puberty--then as a way of honoring this person, the people of the village sing his or her song.

     And it goes this way through their life, in marriage; the songs are sung, together. And finally, when the child is lying in bed, ready to die, all the villagers know his or her song, and they sing, for the last time, the song to this person.

   What is your song, I ask again? Do you have one to comfort yourself, to encourage yourself? I"m not sure if this post will make sense to anybody reading it, but that's okay. It makes sense to me, is filling a need I have at the moment, an enormous need for comforting, which is why I went outside to gaze at God's nightlights; always lit so I can find my way home.

    My song? It is "How Great Thou Art."
    
There is nothing quite as comforting as staring up at the starry heavens. Doing that enables me to see just how small I really am, and just how great HE is- how absolutely Wonderful!

HAVE AN AWESOME  DAY. LOVE YOU MUCH.

BARB