Friday, October 9, 2009

Good Morning

Hope your morning started as wonderfully as mine did. It wasn't sunny, and I didn't win the lottery. But I woke, for some reason, greatly appreciating my life and all it contains. Whenever I experience this, which is quite often, I find myself taking a memory walk, wanting to reconnect with  people who inspired me, encouraged me, lifted my spirits, taught me something, or made me feel loved and special
(people whose belief in me enabled me to believe in myself).

     I shared Gingerbread and hot chocolate with my Mother, my heart filling with admiration as she shared her life experiences, speaking softly, as always she did, about how love can go wrong, how important it is to remember that people are more important than things, and that doing our best is always good enough. Our last conversation left me with words that literally changed my life.
     "If you can be honest with yourself," she said, "
about yourself, you'll find the quality of your relationships will improve. Why? Because when you look at another mans faults you're now able to see your own."
   She has been gone for many years now, but sometimes, like today, it's as though she never left.

The second person I visited on my walk was my father. As in all families, and within each relationship, not all is perfect. It was so with us. But I've never focused on the hurting memories. Better it is, I discovered long ago, to focus upon the good in life, as well as in people. This being so, I revisited Sequoia National Park; ate cold watermelon as I observed my father, who stood leaning against a Redwood tree, gazing upwards while sipping a beer, looking happier than I'd ever seen him.
   "Nothing could be better than this," he said, smiling at me.
     I've never forgotten that moment or the sights, sounds and smells of it. My father taught me many things (though not by example). The  most important?
1- Never take life or people for granted.

2- Learn to control your emotions - don't allow them to control you.
3- Everybody deserves a second chance.

Next to visit was Tommy, the first love of my life . I rode his maroon bicycle again, danced with him, went horseback riding, and felt his strength when he held me for the last time. "It's okay, Princess." he whispered, while brushing away my tears. "Don't worry. I'll be back.   He didn't come back, but what I learned from him kept me strong, has helped me through many a storm. He was unique, had the heart of a poet, was so tall in my eyes. He taught me, by example, the true meaning of loyalty, friendship and  integrity; taught me that I'm stronger than I believe myself to be, and able to do whatever I set my mind too.
    I chatted with Pastor Joe, who introduced me to Jesus Christ, enabled me to experience somebody actually living what God says love is.
   
I spoke with former friends, spent an hour  sitting on an old tire swing, then revisited the treehouse Tommy built for me. "For when life's too heavy." he said.
Oh, but I loved that treehouse; spent so many hours there doing nothing but think about life: about how unfair it was, the way it  put heaven in your hands only to snatch it from you when you least expected it, how hard it was to understand parents sometimes, and myself; how noisy the world was- how  difficult to find a quiet place. I thought about the present day, wondered  what tomorrow would bring(if it would leave my life as it was, or change it into something I would hate). Mostly, though, I would think about Tommy ( wishing, praying, hoping, as his dad did, that we'd be together always).
 
But life goes its own way, dragging us right along with it, whether we wish to go or not. And the years pass, each one confronting us with truths we weren't quite ready to face like:  waking up one day, realizing that not only has youth left us, but we are no longer in the middle-age bracket either. It takes longer now, to do those things we once did so quickly. And we're  not always comfortable with the stranger in the mirror, nor with our bodies, which far too often seem to betray us.
  
But  we are always going through some kind of transition, whether big or small.

And not all changes are bad. Like many of you I am facing difficult things: two sisters, both with serious health issues (diabetes complications and cancer), a daughter who is going to lose her home, a son whose marriage is failing, a sister with Parkinsons, whose husband's heart is bad, a brother -in-law whose heart is bad too, a son who has removed himself from family, and the list goes on.
   So many hurting people in the world, but even so...we are all blessed. Every one of us. As I so often say, Be brave, Have courage. Every trial comes to its own end. And remember that it isn't who we are, but WHOSE we are.

I wish you all good things: love, hope, joy, laughter and peace.
Talk to you soon.

Love you much.

6 comments:

Sugar said...

wonderful post, have a blessed weekend.

garnett109 said...

Wow,thanks for sharing.
Thanks for stopping by my blog.

Linda :) said...

Hello, so nice to see you posting your words of inspiration... I've missed you.... :)

LaVern said...

So glad you are back, Barb. REALLY missed your posts. A real blessing when I see you have made an entry in your Journal. If your health permits, please write often. It means so much to me, and I am sure to others. Much love, LaVern

One in Ten said...

bless you I just found yor blog and love it I am looking forward to more

Anonymous said...

COMMENT TO A GOOGLE BLOG

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

BARB, I CAN RELATE TO YOUR ENTRY HERE,LIVING MEMORY OF PAST HAPPENINGS.

I WILL BE 90 YEARS OLD NEXT APRIL AND SPEND CONSIDERABLE TIME LOOKING BACK AT WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN. IF DIFFERENT OPPORTUNITIES HAD BEEN TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF.

THEN SNAPPING BACK FROM THE DAYDREAM AND THANKING OUR LORD FOR THE SEVERAL CHILDREN OF MINE THAT ARE STILL ALIVE, AND MY MANY YEARS OF EXTRAORDINARY GOOD HEALTH.

FROM YOUTH, LOTS OF HARD WORK, SOME RISKY, NEVER A BROKEN BONE. THEN IN WORLD WAR 2, ALMOST TWO YEARS IN THE SOUTHWEST PACIFIC COMBAT ZONES, ESCAPING MANY CLOSE CALLS TO KEEP GOING.

MODERN DAY YOUNG FOLKS MIGHT NOT BELIEVE THAT AFTER RETURNING FROM THE SOUTHWEST PACIFIC AND 26 YEARS OLD WAS WORKING DELIVERING FURNITURE FOR THE PAY OF FORTY CENTS AN HOUR.

SAW GREYHOUND'S AD WANTING DRIVERS AND ANSWERED THE AD, RESULTING IN DRIVING FOR GREYHOUND FOR 32 YEARS AT VERY GOOD PAY.

RETIRED FROM GREYHOUND IN 1981, TWENTY EIGHT YEARS AGO AND ENJOYING A VERY GOOD PENSION.
I RECEIVE A REPORT EACH YEAR FROM GREYHOUND AND THERE ARE NOW FOUR RETIRED DRIVERS DRAWING A PENSION THAT ARE OVER 100 YEARS OLD. THERE ARE OVER A THOUSAND MY AGE RECEIVING THE PENSION.

HOWEVER, LOOKING BACK, YES, WOULD HAVE DID MANY THINGS DIFFERENT. THANKING GOD FOR WHAT I HAVE NOW THOUGH.

MY DEAR WIFE MARY JANE AND I WOULD HAVE BEEN MARRIED 50 YEARS IN AUGUST 1996 WHEN SHE DIED IN APRIL.

DOES BIBLE SCRIPTURE ENCOURAGE US TO LOOK AHEAD AND NOT BACK ? AFTER HAVING A STROKE LAST OCTOBER 2008, RECOVERING AND USING A WALKER, HOPING TO LIVE PAST A HUNDRED, HOWEVER WILL BE DELIGHTED TO SEE JESUS WELCOMING ME UP THERE.
READ THE NEW TESTAMENT AND ACCEPT HIS OFFER OF SALVATION IF THAT HAS BEEN NEGLECTED AND PERHAPS BE VERY PLEASANTLY SURPRISED AT WHAT OUR LOVING GOD HAS HAD IN STORE FOR THOSE THAT WORSHIP HIM.

BARB I WILL CONTINUE TO READ YOUR ENTRIES, NEW TO ME AND MAY GOD'S BLESSINGS ON ALL THAT WORSHIP HIM.

MY GOOGLE BLOG ADDRESS IS SAYIT-BALDYS

E-MAIL IS GRAVYDOGG55@AOL.COM