Tuesday, November 6, 2012


I was going to  use a good morning graphic but felt, considering the circumstance, the above was much better. Losing Johnny has hit me hard. Even though I knew that goodbye was coming, the way it came was unexpectedly. I can't say that everything is good, because it isn't.  When death takes a loved one, nothing is ever the same again, not me- not my family- not the way we view things. But I do know, as I have so often said, that life runs on opposites:

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal, a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together, a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace."
                                                                                                                   -Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

HOPE to hold onto; reminds me that every trial comes to its own end.

     Today may be dismal and sunless, but that doesn't mean that the days following it will be. Even while experiencing this terrible pain of losing my beloved Johnny I can know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that down the way, the SUN shall find my place of residence again. Until it does, I have the SON to walk with, to talk with, to sit and be silent with. As well, I am surrounded by people who genuinely care for me, both family and friends. And I am discovering anew, the value of taking time to smell the roses.

To those of you who may be going through what I am going through, let me encourage you to not try to cope with your sadness alone. Better it is to open your arms and heart to those who love and care for you, those who want to comfort, uplift...and just be with you while you work your way through your loss.

To those of you who are having a good day, I encourage you to not take that for granted. Life is short, is a wisp of smoke- here- then gone. We have a tendency to not think about losing a loved one; it's too unpleasant. But if we were to think about it more often, I have a feeling families would be a lot closer than they are.

Thank you so much for all the love and support this past year. This journey has been one of the most difficult in my life. Having you to lean on made it less painful...the burden less heavy too.

Thanking you too, for my sweet Johnny, who every day, said to me
"Barb, You've got such wonderful friends. It comforts me to know that when I am gone you'll still have them to help you."
 May you continue to experience God's love every day.
May you continue to experience the honor of His presence
and the tightness of His embrace always.

Love you much-


I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

Having gone though this I know the pain you are feeling. You are blessed with a strong faith and that will help carry you through. Over the years my pain has lessened and I have accepted my life as it is. I never never take a day for granted any more. I have learned to value all life and everything in it. My heart goes out to you.

Sandy said...

You are in my thoughts and prayers, Barb. May each day bring more comfort and peace, strength and awareness of His presence and love.

Debbie said...

I'm so glad that you checked in. You have been in my thoughts. God be with you, my friend!

Crown of Beauty said...

Dear friend,
I know what it's like, for I've been on that road. Yes the pain runs deep. We have not been friends long, but in my spirit I feel like I've known you a long time. I am praying for you, and keeping you close to my heart.


Sybil said...

Thank you for being so honest with your feelings Barb, You are such a fine example to so many of us. The way you have coped with this past year has been wonderful...I have not been around as much just lately feeling a bit low myself but like you keeping my eyes heavenword and watching out for those shiny moment
God Bless and love and hugs xx

Crown of Beauty said...

I know it's Thanksgiving today in your country... just dropped by your blog place to tell you you are remembered and prayed for in a special way these days.