Monday, January 14, 2013


Good morning,

This might seem like an odd photo to start my chat off with, but really, it isn't. When I so often speak of those "shiny" moments I encourage you to watch for, this photo is kind of what they look like to me. I call them "shiny" because those unexpected blessings that arrive when we least expect them light up our eyes as well as our hearts. We get so excited, so overwhelmed when we're in the midst of a storm and an unexpected blessing comes; get so emotional, so relieved- so teary when out of nowhere, relief comes-- deliverance comes.

After being so fearful, so insecure, so miserably unhappy, one of these moments come, and all of a sudden life has meaning again. The flame of HOPE
begins to flicker within our hearts; we realize, all of a sudden that we're not alone- that somebody does care.  

This present storm I'm going through, the recent death of my sweet Johnny, is one of the fiercest storms I've been through. He was here one day and gone the next, unexpectedly, since he was doing so well that particular day. It tore a huge hole into my comfort zone, confused me, caused me to lose my way for a time. His death changed the way I viewed things, the way I felt. It made it difficult for me to eat or sleep, made it almost impossible to even think. As well it filled me with a raw, aching pain I feared would never leave me. I was cold, empty, numb, unable to focus upon anything. I couldn't even think about  Johnny, even when i tried too, my mind just wouldn't work.

As discouraged, sad, fearful, insecure, lost and lonely as I was, as low as I was, two long standing habits revived me. The first habit was turning to the Lord the first thing in the morning, the last thing at night, and whenever something good or bad entered my life. When bad, I'd talk to him about it and He would remind me that "All things work together for good..." The (all) means the bad things as well as the good. Rom. 8:28 

   When something good happened, I'd thank Him for it, and leave his presence feeling blessed, happy, and secure, having been reminded how well God takes care of His children.

The second habit that is seeing me through this present storm is continually watching for those "SHINY" moments. The watching for them keeps discouragement at bay and reminds me that life runs on opposites; if today my life is stormy, down the way the day will become
sunny again. Every trial comes to its own end.  

It has only been two months since I lost Johnny, but it feels as if it were only yesterday. Still, even though it is hard to start each day without him, end each day without him, the use of these two habits are little-by-little helping me cope, are little-by-little, helping me get stronger.

Many of you have lost somebody too, many of them recently. I want you to know that I am here for you. You can email me any time if you need some extra TLC. I know that having a good support system helps. I am blessed to have one. I want you to know you have one too, not just me, but other online people who truly understand what you're going through, who would gladly support you if you would but ask.
    Someone told me a few years ago "Barb, I wish I could write like you. If I could, I'd not mind sharing my problems, but I can't."
    I told this dear person that you don't have to know how to write in order to share with somebody. I told her that the people who want to help her don't care how well she writes, told her that many people write better than I do, are published authors. What matters isn't how well we write. What matters is that all of us are genuine with each other, that we truly care about the heartbreak of somebody else, that we are compassionate and don't judge each other. This dear person is now one of my closest friends. I shared this to encourage you, and myself too, to not get so focused on our own pain and troubles that we forget others hurt too. This is a hurting world- full of hurting people.

Have a wonderful day. Embrace each moment as it comes, never forgetting how short life is, is a wisp of smoke- here- then gone.

Love you much,



Sybil said...

Dear dear Barb, you write such wise words..I thank God daily that we met ...on is a mystery to me how these things happen or even more mysterious is how we can develope such love for somene we have never seen, then I remember that we have never met our
Lord and we love him and know he loves us, so maybe it is not such a mystery at all..
TAke care and no that you are often and often in my thoughts

love Sybil xx

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

So glad you are finding those shiny moments. They are there if we look for them. It is like loosing a part of our selves when someone we love dies. I remember the feeling well. It takes time to heal. Those good habits you've developed will serve you well. Somedays it seems all I do is pray and a lot of those prayers are of thanks and praise. You are a blessing to many.

Jeanie said...

Dear Barb

You are doing so well! It is going to take time for the emptiness without Johnny to ease inside you. But then I know I don't need to tell you that really. I only hope the shiny moments you shared with him visit you often and leave you with a warm heart and not a sad one. That's not what he would want for you.
God bless you!

Sandy said...

Sweet dear Barb,
I agree that you are such a blessing to many, including me. You are proof that the Lord does not forsake His own, even in their harshest times. It is only because of His known love and care for you that you're able to carry on with such praise for Him. Losing a loved one is so difficult. I just attended a funeral for a dear friend's 26 year old daughter who was so tragically killed in an accident. When I looked to the front of the chapel and saw my friend of so many years weeping over her girl but hands raised praising God at the same time I was so touched. Only the Lord can cause such a response in our deepest sorrow, as you also display with your life.

LaVern said...

Dear Barb:
So VERY good to see you were able to get a few words off to your family and many friends. They help you, I know, but mean a great deal to each of us. I was a bit down today, but THANK YOU, you helped to put a SHINY MOMENT in my day. You are in my prayers daily.
Love you much,

Dianne said...

Oh Barb, this touches my heart so deeply. You truly are a gifted writer with the ability to share your feelings so well.

I admire you so much as I know this has to be one of the roughest and deepest valleys for anyone to go thru--the losing of a beloved spouse.

Prayers for you, dearest Barb.

much love,

Crown of Beauty said...

Dearest friend
I have not been on blogland the past weeks... except on Christmas morning when I wrote that painfilled Reality Check post, and then yesterday again, when I wrote my first post for the new year - A Fresh Start.

This post is beautiful, as always, so full of tenderness and wisdom.

So happy to have met you and made your friendship. Your kindness shines through your words. You and I, and others in the same boat with us... we are a support system. I'm here for you too. Much love always.


Kath said...

Good morning Dear Friend,sorry I am late once again into Blogger.I cannot imagine what it must be like Barb and I know I keep repeating this,but I just cannot imagine life without my Rooster.You are truly a very special person in my heart,even though we are miles apart,I think of you daily pray for you always and I say this with tears at times in my eyes.The Good Lord never leaves us.You helped me through some bad times and I belieeve the Good Lord sent you to my rescue,this I shall never forget.I pray your shiny moments continue on Barb and I will leave you now with a Great Big Gently {{{{HUG}}}}.Love you millions.Take Care God Bless Kath xxx

FlowerLady Lorraine said...

Dear Barb ~ Sandy from Faith Hope & Love sent me here. I lost my dear husband of 43 years in December and it has been rough, even though I know he is with Jesus.

I too look for 'shiny' moments each and every day. Talking with Jesus is a day long happening, whenever I need to. It is comforting knowing that he is always near. But tears flow, sometimes more than others, grief is an ongoing and growing process.

I didn't see a way to email you my email addy is in my profile.

I look forward to reading your blog and being blessed.