Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Good Morning,

Saw one of these little guys yesterday. As well, there were also several beautiful deer right next to my patio, close enough to touch had they allowed me too. Seeing these and the fox, squirrels and raccoons are one of the reasons I love living in Oregon so much. The hotter and dryer the weather, the more of them we'll see.

I've been up since 3:00 a.m, and being unable to sleep, and because at that hour the air is cool, I opened the front door. Today will be 96, tomorrow and the rest of the week between 101-106. Not looking forward to that. But then nobody else is either. I'm so grateful that I have air-conditioning and a ceiling fan- so many people have neither. I get very concerned for those with no way to cool themselves during this heat wave.

So what's going on with you? Me? Well, let's see.I already shared the weather so give me a sec and I'll share a bit more.

FAMILYWe're doing alright, though not looking forward to the rest of this year. It's not that we're not moving forward since Johnny's death. We are, but as you know there are always those first times you have to get past: that first holiday, birthday, birth of a child, the day he/she died, etc. Though it has been almost 9 months it sometimes feels as if we just lost him yesterday. My children miss him very much. He died on our son's birthday so that will be an especially difficult day. And then there will be Thanksgiving, Christmas and our Anniversary on December 31st. All things considered though, I am still rich. I have the Lord-so have enough-have all I need to make it through whatever life throws at me.
   Life is to precious to take for granted, full of SHINY moments I'd surely miss if not watching for them. And when you think about it, every trial, painful as it may be, usually contains our richest blessing. We don't recognize this till long after the trial has passed. Then, when we take a backward look, at least that's how it is with me, we find how perfect everything went; that it was flawless. I wouldn't be this strong, courageous,or  have such faith were it not for my walking with the Lord every day. When I take a backward look at the tangled mess my life once was, I can understand now why His answer was No sometimes, can understand why a certain door was closed to me.

I'm walking more and finally off the sleeping pills; I gave up on those. If I take them I sleep only three hours, if that, then am awake the rest of the night. Getting off of them has helped. Instead of taking them I take a nightly stroll, then about a half hour before bed I have some Sleepy Time tea or Chamomile tea. Both seem to help. Walking more has done wonders for my blood pressure-has lowered my stress level too. That's a good thing.

Read "Ruin Creek"  by David Payne again. If you enjoy reading you might want to check this book out. You'll not regret it. This was my 20th time reading it, if not more. Here is what I read on back of book while deciding if I wanted to read it or not:

A powerful, lyrical story....A joy to read.
-New York Times Book Review
Jimmy Madden was a comet who had the whole town of Kildeer North Carolina riding on his tail. But the clear path his life was to take toward his dreams would change forever when he married beautiful debutante May Tillis, already pregnant with his child.

"Lyrical magic...Touching and vivid...Timeless"

-Washington Post Book World
May had dreams too. She wanted "a different life from what Mamma and Daddy had." and she found it in spades with handsome, unpredictable Jimmy. But as the years pass, responsibilities overtake the promises of youth, and Jimmy and May discover that passion and love aren't enough to save a failing marriage.

The human heart is Payne's territory."Worth savoring."
-Charlotte Observer
As his parents struggle to stay together 10-year old Joey Madden helplessly watches them drift apart. Turning to his grandfather for understanding, he learns that it is he who has to move away from his troubled family- and into the world of men..
I read the above words, opened the book, read the first paragraph and promptly bought the book. It has become a favorite. The authors words become a beautiful song; one that echos in the readers mind long after he/she has finished reading the last page. And the characters are never forgotten; the reader learns something from each one of them.

Be like the guy on the left. Face life head on, reminding yourself that we are always stronger than we believe ourselves to be. Don't let the giants in your life cause you to remain discouraged. Remember, every big thing existing in the world began with just ONE step. Take it slow, and don't forget all you've done well; to often our focus point is on where we've failed.

Food for thought"When you substitute worry for living, you must take the responsibility for it."
                        -Maxwell Maltz

Well, dear ones, as I said, I've been up since 3:00 a. m. My headache has not eased up so am going to take some Excedrin and make myself some coffee. Want to put some smiles on somebody's face? Buy some bottles of Bubbles and hand them out. It works!

OOPS! Forgot that some of you have asked for link to My Johnny blog. Sorry I forgot to insert it last time I posted.

Take care,
Love you much,


linda eller said...

As I am new to your blog, I am not sure about what happened with your husband, but I am sorry he is not with you any longer. Walking is good for 'what ails you' as my grandmother used to say and glad it is helping you. Pills can be good, but if not working right, I would stop also. Have a good Wednesday. God bless you.

Dee said...

Sorry you can not sleep....I kept waking up last night and have been tired all day. It will be a difficult year but I hope your family will find comfort in loving memories of you husband. I need to read your book ....if you have read it twenty times it has got to be special. The bubbles sound like a fun idea...they would put a smile on my face:)

Jackie said...

Like Linda, I am new to your blog, but as I read this post, I can feel the loss and the love posted here. You have a beautiful attitude, and I am certain that comes from your love of and trust in the Lord.
I will be back; I love my blogging friends. You have a special place in my heart.

Anonymous said...

thank you so much for your wonderful visit and sweet words.
Have a great day !!

Kath said...

Hi Barb,I am sorry I havn't been around lately.Happy to read you are sounding much betterthan last time I read your blog.Even though I arn't always here,I think of you all the time,as I do other friends online.The heat you get in Oregan has reached England,as you will have heard this last week and it's sure taken it's toll on me,believe you me,so much so I am suprized I am still with you all..I am having much difficulty breathing,even as I sit here writing this comment.I love your words Barb and I know how much you will still miss your Beloved Johnny.You are doing good and are always in my prayers for healing.It's good to know all your family are fine too.When I read your first few words.I always think of the hymn."All things bright and beautiful" The Lord God made them all.It's true if we look back at our lives,how much we should appreciate things we have had.Keep your chin up Barn know I thinkof you daily,love you millions.Take Care God Bless Kath xx

Just Be Real said...

Barb I am extending to you safe hugs ((((Barb))))

Thank you for sharing.....

Linda :) said...

I was reading through the comments and had to pause at the two that said 'I am new to your blog' and thought how can anyone not know Barb... lol... Glad you have new followers... and glad you continue to take baby steps... Always special thoughts for you and yours... :)

Sarah said...

Hi Barb...I've been so engrossed in writing a load of daily rubbish in my own blog and forgot to look in on you and other blogs..How rude of me!You are certainly right about writing everything down and I did, but some I had to delete as I had said too much of what should not have been But, I did feel better when I read the unmentionable back before I deleted
I'm sorry your still having problems sleeping and hope that changes for the better for you soon.
I'm still having sleeping problems from time to time myself getting up at unearthly hours during the night, but the last couple of nights it seems to be getting better.
Best Wishes coming your way Dear Barb. Big hugs from across the pond and your always in my Thoughts and Prayers xxxx

Sybil said...

Dearest Barb, How did I miss this idea...but I clearly did. Never mind you are so often in my mind and always in my prayers that we are never that far apart. Gla dthat you are managing withoutthe sleeping pills..that alone will make you feel better I am sure. I have had to have a change of the pain pills so that I can sleep...some morphine..but at least it has given me a sleep now and I can feel more human...
I think your hands are still troublesome so extra prayers that you find something to make that pain go go go !! Much much Love Sybil xx