Sunday, June 30, 2013

Good Morning

I never thought I'd be creating a post at almost 2:00 a.m., but here I am.
Today was a fantastic day, one of the best days I've had in a long time. I accomplished more than I have since Johnny died; was hopeful that everything was finally going to fall into place, kind of back to normal. Unfortunately, it didn't go the way I thought it would, which is why I am talking to you at this horrible hour.
    The odd part, is that I took the new sleeping pill my doctor put me on at 11;00, but instead of it making me drowsy, it got me so wired I could not shut my mind off. I have been tossing and turning on the bed since 11:00; finally realized sleep was out of reach again- was going to stay that way, at least for tonight.
What to do...say...etc,

I'll just chat, okay, about everything, since my mind is so full. Hope you'll overlook the way this post is thrown together. It definitely won't be something I'd ordinarily publish. The only reason I'm posting it is because I'm trying to get back on track with my blogs. I miss writing; it's what I love the most.

We miss out on what could be the most memorable days of our lives by rushing through each day; by continually worrying about things we have no control over, by being resistant to change, and by setting unrealistic expectations for ourselves, and sometimes for others.
The world is full of people with different colored skin, different attitudes, different beliefs, different likes and dislikes. What never fails to amaze me is how hatred can exist between anybody, when in truth, we're all kindred spirits. We're exactly alike, though separate individuals, in a way. We all cry when we're hurt, laugh when we're happy. We all know what loneliness feels like, and fear, worry, discouragement and sadness. When a loved one dies, or one of our children is hurt, we understand that kind of pain. As well, when something wonderful happens, we all know what it means when somebody says, while laughing and crying at the same time." my cup is running over. " As the expression goes "go figure."   ( I think it a dumb expression but am using it anyway).


Love is the most powerful thing in the world; can bring a man to his knees faster than the sun can melt an ice cube. I never knew real love until I met the Lord Jesus. He has shown me by His example, how powerful love is; how it has the ability to change the most vile, unkind person into somebody you almost don't recognize. His love has given meaning to my life, enabled me to scale mountains that intimidated me, enabled me to forgive people that almost totally destroyed me, enabled me to see the SHINY side of life. His love keeps my heart at peace midst the worlds chaos. His love keeps me full; satisfies my every need.

Who doesn't like to eat? I do, but know better than to eat something at 2:45 in the morning. BUT...if I were to make myself something right now, I'd have some strawberry shortcake, or at least strawberries with whipped cream.
People are more important than things.

Books: The Bible, Dynamic People Skills, The Harvester, The Prophet, For Whom The Bell Tolls.
Songs: Someday, Stardust, String of Pearls, You Lay So Easy On My Mind
Movies: Somewhere in Time, The Robe, Casablanca
Flower: Red Roses, Gardenias.
Holidays: Christmas, Johnny's and my Anniversary
Music: Some Jazz, some country, easy listening, gospel

Sports: Seattle Seahawks
Perfumes: My Sin, White Diamonds, Red Door

The Best Part of Being a Parent is:
Knowing the values I tried to instill in my children are there. It's knowing that I taught them what they needed to know in order to work, to get along well with others, to take chances in life, to be able to take care of themselves now, and after I'm gone.

The Worst Part of Being a Parent is:
Watching your children make choices you know will hurt them, or somebody else. It's having to be hard on them when you'd rather be easy; having to say no, when you'd rather say yes. It's being misunderstood- shut out, for simply trying to do your job as a parent.
    The worst part is not being able to kiss and hug their cares away as you did when they were little; it's having to let go...let them find their own way in the world; it's being unable to treat them to things you'd love for them to have.

If I'm lucky, before long I'll see some of these little guys. Haven't seen them around yet, but did see a beautiful doe earlier today. I was to slow getting to my camera, otherwise would have been able to share it.
Well, dear ones, it is now almost 3:15 a.m. and though I feel a little bit sleepy, finally, I know it's not going to get me to sleep. Still...I AM going to try. I feel so terrible when I don't get sleep.
  Thanks for being such good listeners, and for not being to harsh a critic regarding this post.

Take care,

Love you much,



I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

Not being able to sleep is a terrible thing, but you made good use of your awake time anyway. It's always nice to see a post from you. Hopefully you were able to rest after doing so. I hope you will not be trying those sleeping pills ever again. Glad that your day was so good up until these wee morning hours without sleep. Take good care and rest when you can.

Sarah said...

Hi Barb...sorry your having sleeping problems and hope you eventually get some needed sleep.
It is awful when we can't sleep. I too seem to toss and turn most of the time with hardly any sleep.
I think I should write in my blog when i can't sleep too.
I think I will write more often like you said before, it does help to ease the burden.
I have written in my blog this morning, and your right it doe help to lift the burden that weighs us down.
When i read your posts, they seem to encourage me to write. I try to put things together better when i read how you've written in your blogs, i do try to write better in my own blog, but would never be a writer like yourself and many other peoples blogs I've read.
Thnx for posting this entry. Best wishes Dear Barb Big HUGS xxx

linda eller said...

I feel that blogging should express how we feel at the moment we type the words, and it is a good outlet, whether anybody else reads it or not. I feel the way you do on many of the things you posted, and pray you got a few hours sleep and maybe even get a nap today. God bless you.

Crown of Beauty said...

What a beautiful post this is, knowing that you are writing your thoughts as they come, and sharing what's on your heart with us your blog friends.

I have thought often of you since you and I became "blog neighbors." Isn't it wonderful to have blog neighbors who drop in on you and listen to your heart every now and then? Trusting your sleeping patterns will normalize sooner than later!

Love to you

Jackie said...

So sorry that you couldn't sleep, but I have to be honest and say that your loss was my gain. This post was beautifully written...and I pray for peace and happiness for you, Barb.

Sandy said...

I enjoyed sharing this time with you, dear friend. I sometimes have trouble falling asleep too. We all do every now and then. Have you tried GABA Calm? It is said to work well as is getting some extra magnesium.
Praying for God's best~

Dee said...

I hope you have been able to catch up on your sleep...perhaps half of the sleeping pill will work better for you :) My mind does not work well enough when I can not sleep to did pretty good. LOL

Paula said...

Nice of you to visit my blog. I remember you from AOL Journals.What a nice bunch of people from there and now from Blogspot. I have that sleeping problem too so I get up and do something until I get sleepy again. I hate it my sleep is so mixed up but I hate to get dependent on pills. Heaven knows I have to take enough of those already.

Anonymous said...

Great stuff Barb.

Anonymous said...

aww what do you take?

I take LUNESTA now and sometimes it works and sometime it doesnt and wow you stay up late 11 PM hehehehe most people around here are in bed by 8 hehehehe only kidding


Chatty Crone said...

I liked what you said about parenting. It is hard to watch our kids makes mistakes. You have a lot of wonderful things on your post today. I am so glad you are writing again I will stay up with it this time. God Bless America! Sandie

journally yours, gem said...

Hi Barb,
I have to take Seroquel for sleep otherwise I get wired up too. oh I LOVE gardenia! That is my favorite flower. You are right about life. What a wonderful post.
Gem :)