Today was a fantastic day, one of the best days I've had in a long time. I accomplished more than I have since Johnny died; was hopeful that everything was finally going to fall into place, kind of back to normal. Unfortunately, it didn't go the way I thought it would, which is why I am talking to you at this horrible hour.
The odd part, is that I took the new sleeping pill my doctor put me on at 11;00, but instead of it making me drowsy, it got me so wired I could not shut my mind off. I have been tossing and turning on the bed since 11:00; finally realized sleep was out of reach again- was going to stay that way, at least for tonight.
What to do...say...etc, etc...lol
I'll just chat, okay, about everything, since my mind is so full. Hope you'll overlook the way this post is thrown together. It definitely won't be something I'd ordinarily publish. The only reason I'm posting it is because I'm trying to get back on track with my blogs. I miss writing; it's what I love the most.
We miss out on what could be the most memorable days of our lives by rushing through each day; by continually worrying about things we have no control over, by being resistant to change, and by setting unrealistic expectations for ourselves, and sometimes for others.
The world is full of people with different colored skin, different attitudes, different beliefs, different likes and dislikes. What never fails to amaze me is how hatred can exist between anybody, when in truth, we're all kindred spirits. We're exactly alike, though separate individuals, in a way. We all cry when we're hurt, laugh when we're happy. We all know what loneliness feels like, and fear, worry, discouragement and sadness. When a loved one dies, or one of our children is hurt, we understand that kind of pain. As well, when something wonderful happens, we all know what it means when somebody says, while laughing and crying at the same time." my cup is running over. " As the expression goes "go figure." ( I think it a dumb expression but am using it anyway).
Love is the most powerful thing in the world; can bring a man to his knees faster than the sun can melt an ice cube. I never knew real love until I met the Lord Jesus. He has shown me by His example, how powerful love is; how it has the ability to change the most vile, unkind person into somebody you almost don't recognize. His love has given meaning to my life, enabled me to scale mountains that intimidated me, enabled me to forgive people that almost totally destroyed me, enabled me to see the SHINY side of life. His love keeps my heart at peace midst the worlds chaos. His love keeps me full; satisfies my every need.
Who doesn't like to eat? I do, but know better than to eat something at 2:45 in the morning. BUT...if I were to make myself something right now, I'd have some strawberry shortcake, or at least strawberries with whipped cream.
BY WHAT PHILOSOPHY DO I LIVE?
People are more important than things.
Books: The Bible, Dynamic People Skills, The Harvester, The Prophet, For Whom The Bell Tolls.
Songs: Someday, Stardust, String of Pearls, You Lay So Easy On My Mind
Movies: Somewhere in Time, The Robe, Casablanca
Flower: Red Roses, Gardenias.
Holidays: Christmas, Johnny's and my Anniversary
Music: Some Jazz, some country, easy listening, gospel
Perfumes: My Sin, White Diamonds, Red Door
The Best Part of Being a Parent is:
Knowing the values I tried to instill in my children are there. It's knowing that I taught them what they needed to know in order to work, to get along well with others, to take chances in life, to be able to take care of themselves now, and after I'm gone.
The Worst Part of Being a Parent is:
Watching your children make choices you know will hurt them, or somebody else. It's having to be hard on them when you'd rather be easy; having to say no, when you'd rather say yes. It's being misunderstood- shut out, for simply trying to do your job as a parent.
The worst part is not being able to kiss and hug their cares away as you did when they were little; it's having to let go...let them find their own way in the world; it's being unable to treat them to things you'd love for them to have.
If I'm lucky, before long I'll see some of these little guys. Haven't seen them around yet, but did see a beautiful doe earlier today. I was to slow getting to my camera, otherwise would have been able to share it.
Well, dear ones, it is now almost 3:15 a.m. and though I feel a little bit sleepy, finally, I know it's not going to get me to sleep. Still...I AM going to try. I feel so terrible when I don't get sleep.
Thanks for being such good listeners, and for not being to harsh a critic regarding this post.
Love you much,