Monday, March 19, 2012


One of the saddest things about abusive relationships is that more often than not, family, friends, and loved ones are in denial about what is going on. Having grown up the way I did, I thought horrible things like what I was experiencing only happened at our house. I didn't realize till I'd grown up that probably five out of ten friends were experiencing the same thing I was.  Now, as a mother of six children and many grandchildren, I'm more than concerned about domestic violence and child abuse, which is why I'm writing on this.

 1 in 3 teenagers report knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, kicked, slapped, choked or physically hurt by their partner.
1 in 4 teenage girls have been pressured to have oral sex or to engage in intercourse.
Nearly 80 % of girls who have been physically abused in their relationships continue to date the abuser.
Of the women between ages15-19 murdered each year, 30% are killed by husband or boyfriend.
Less than 25% of teens say they have discussed dating violence with their parents.
Teens report dating abuse via technology is a serious problem.

71 % of teens regard boyfriends/girlfriends spreading rumors about them on cellphones and social networking sites as a serious problem.
68% of teens say boyfriends/girlfriends sharing private or embarrassing
pictures/videos on cell phones and computers is a serious problem. Cell phone calls and texting at unimaginable frequency mean constant control day and night.
 Nearly 1 in 4 teens in a relationship (24%) communicated with their partner via cellphone or texting HOURLY between midnight and
5:00 a.m.
One in three teens (30%) say they are messaged 10, 2o, 30, times an  hour by a partner inquiring where they are, what they are doing, or who they are with.

This is Partial Statistics from (Liz Claiborne, conducted by
Teenage Research Unlimited; Feb. 2005)

The problem is much worse today.
We have to do something, must do something besides wring our hands and pray. What can we do? A good place to start would be to begin teaching our children, both boys and girls, what LOVE IS NOT!
    We  must teach them, at an early age that love is not: hitting, slapping,
punching, pulling, choking, shoving, spitting, hurting. It is not cursing, insulting, criticizing, constantly telling others how fat they are, how short they are, how ugly they are, or how stupid and dumb they are.
It is not saying. "If you loved me you would.'" It is not saying, "It's your fault I got angry."
It is not saying."See what you made me do"
Love is not tearing down-it's building Up.
Love is being kind, patient, helpful, treating others the way we
wish to be treated.

It is not surprising that so much abuse is going on. Children become what they see and experience.  I'd love to hear your opinion on this. For more information you can go to

Please don't just read this. Pass it on to others and start teaching the little ones you know about love. If we start teaching our children, while they're little, what LOVE IS NOT, they're not likely to wind up in abusive relationships;they'll  recognize abuse when they see it. And recognizing the signs will save lives.

Take care now,


I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

Children to learn by what they see. It's is so very true. No one should ever accept abuse as a way of life. It doesn't have to be nor should it ever be acceptable behavior. Maybe your post will help someone to realize that.

REGINA said...

sad, but so true. and with the ever increasing rate of apathy and unrestricted tolerance, it will only get worse. thank you for posting, barb. hugs.

Kath said...

Sorry once again for my late comment Barb.I have been online very little this last couple of weeks.I am once agin trying a little catch up this early morn.You could have taken the very words from my own mouth on this subject today Barb,I agree with you whole heartedly.It is another generation now though and I feel many of today's youngsters are very poor listeners and they will never learn if they do not learn to listen.Not always thier own faults.Many parents today have no interest in thier children once they become of a certain age.Thierfor in my opinion this problem will continue,as thier children will end up the same as they were brought up.I hope you are well and Johnny doing as best we can hope for.Roosters Father is back in hospital,so it's a trying time for us again just now,besides other things going on in my life.Prayers for you always Barb.Know you are always in my thoughts, even when I am abscent from being online.Take Care God Bless 2 big {{{HUGS}}} for you and Johnny.Love you Lots xxxx Kath Motherhen xx

Anonymous said...

love your blog of inspiration!

Def. adding this to my google reader list

love always,